


Blood and Teeth

by EternalTags



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: Bisexual Maura, Everyone wants to punch Gabriel, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Plenty of swearing, Plenty of violence, Pre-Rizzles, Slow Burn, The werewolf story no one asked for, bisexual jane, feedback is always appreceated, fixed up and edited
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2018-11-30 07:51:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 32,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11459250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternalTags/pseuds/EternalTags
Summary: "I keep you safe. It's what I do. It's what I've always done. I don't know how to do anything else. So some things have changed about me sure. But that? That will never change."- Something happens to Jane on a morning run with Maura that changes everything. Some for better, some for worse.





	1. Over the River and Through the Woods (Part 1)

"Rising with the sun has proven to be beneficial to your health, Jane. Studies show that exorcising before you start your day makes you more energized, Jane. Imagine how much better you would feel if we started jogging before sunrise, JANE." _Jesus, why do I let her drag me into her little health kicks?_ Jane had grumbled under her breath as she laced up her running shoes early Friday morning. Was it even morning? She was pretty sure she could still consider it Thursday night. "It's officially the next day as soon as it hits midnight, JANE. Last I checked there were not three 4:30's in one day, JAAAAANE."

She had enunciated each "Jane" with an overly sharp tug on her laces, before finishing up the knot and heading out the door to her car. Cranking the heater as high as it would go, she headed out for the short drive to pick up Maura. Summer was making way for autumn, and the chilly nights and mornings showed it. It was supposed to be hot later in the day, but for now it was cold enough to make the detective shiver.

Jane was able to convince Maura to compromise at least a little bit. If Maura got to choose what ungodly hour they were going running, then Jane got to choose where. She knew of a place not too far that was a sort of nature trail through a reservation. Clear pathways that trailed through the trees, and the fact it was about twenty minutes out of Boston made it an ideal pre-dawn nature run. There were a few trails to pick from, going anywhere from three to five miles long. She was not going to risk getting mugged or chased down in the still dark hours of the Boston city streets just so Maura could feel more energized as they were getting shanked.

Leaving the car idling in Maura's driveway, Jane dragged her feet up the front steps and rang the doorbell. Maura opened the door, and was hardly surprised at Jane's over exuberant eye roll at her attire. While Maura was always stylish, it seemed she could never be satisfied with wearing simple workout clothes. While Jane had settled with long black sweatpants and a thin white long sleeve shirt, Maura went a little over the top with skin tight black and green leggings, practically covered with reflectors, and a matching over long top with sleeves that stretched past her wrists. And was that a... Yep. A hood. A small hood attached to the back that was no doubt added to reduce some pointless insignificant air resistance percentage. At least it wasn’t the God awful skin suit she wore to the baseball game.

Maura had only quirked an eyebrow, daring Jane to say something. Still half asleep, Jane only grunted what sounded like a good morning and turned to return to the warmth of the car.

"Do you have water in the car? I can grab a few bottles from the-"

"I got water in the trunk, let's just go get this over with so I can get back home in my warm bed, and spend the rest of my Friday how I originally planned. Sleeping and doing absolutely nothing productive." Jane put the car into reverse and took off down the deserted street. "I haven't had a three day weekend in years and I'm gonna milk it for all its worth." Maura had to listen carefully, because Jane had not spoken above her usual morning grumble.

"I don't understand how you can just waste your day like that. You can get a lot done in one day. You could completely rearrange your apartment. You could teach Jo new tricks. You could clean out your fridge. God knows what you have growing in there by now."

"Nothing. Productive."

"It's supposed to be a beautiful day, we could put together a picnic and bring Angela, Tommy and T.J. and have lunch in the Common."

"I lost interest at the mention of my mother."

"So you would be interested in having a picnic?"

"Mauraaaaaa, I just want to sleep the day away, we can do fun family activities tomorrow. You've already got me out here, just let me have my lazy day once we're done, please." Maura just smiled and shook her head.

It was still dark when they reached the park as they pulled into the rather small parking lot.

"What trail do you want to run today?" Maura asked as she stretched her leg on the trunk of Jane's car.

"There's a three and a half mile trail that loops through the middle of the woods. It's a gradual uphill for most of it, there’s a flat bit for maybe a mile, then it sorta twists and turns downhill pretty quick as we come back around." Jane waited until Maura lifted her foot off of the trunk before reaching in and grabbing a water bottle for each of them.

 

* * *

 

It wasn't long after they had started jogging, that Maura had gotten an odd feeling of being watched. She didn't mention anything to Jane about it. It was just barely after five in the morning. There wouldn't be anyone following after them, let alone watching them as they jogged along the trail. She continued at her usual pace, putting the feeling at the back of her mind. Jane was a couple yards ahead of her, her stride being naturally longer. Maura was comforted by the occasional glance back to make sure she was still there.

However the feeling never went away. If anything, it got worse. They were reaching the end of the even trail with the downhill point coming up soon with a mile and a half left. It was of little comfort. The hair on the back of her neck stood on end and her shoulder muscles tensed uncomfortably so. Jane was still a ways ahead, but Maura had reached the point of being so unsettled, she upped her pace to catch up. She was sure it was nothing, but being next to Jane had always made her feel safer.

Jane had noticed that the beat of Maura's feet hitting the trail had sped up and looked back over her shoulder. Maura's discomfort began to ebb the second she saw Jane's smirk. While she was closer, they were still a little over a yard apart but Maura was quickly gaining. It was when the smirk grew into an easy toothy grin that she realized how silly she was being. No one was watching them. Jane was the expert in the "gut feeling." If Jane's gut said they were safe, then they were. Even if someone was following them, Jane would keep them safe. She always has.

They were running even with each other now, and while they were both panting with exertion at this point, Maura felt like Jane was taking it a little too easy. She gave her a quick wink and laughed as Jane's grin was wiped from her face when Maura broke out into a sprint.

"Oh, you wanna race, huh?!" It didn't take long for Jane to not only catch up, but completely pass Maura and start running backwards so she could beam her perfect smile in her direction. Maura's heart melted as they laughed in the early morning. The sky was turning a reddish purple as the sun began to peek over the horizon. The subtle lighting played with the shadows over Jane's face and the thin layer of sweat that was trickling down her hair line. Maura was in awe of how beautiful her friend was, and welcomed the reminder of how lucky she was to have the brunette in her life.

Jane was still smiling as she suddenly lurched to her left. The perfect moment was shattered. The next thing she knew, Maura was picking up a fist sized rock and beating the head of the massive pale grey wolf that had its teeth ripping into the flesh at Jane's neck and shoulder.

 

* * *

 

Jane was glad Maura had forgone putting up her silly hood, and decided to leave her hair tied into a ponytail. The way her honey blonde hair swished with each stride caught the morning light and sent glimmers of every color into the space around her. The white of her smile was constant though. Jane loved that smile and loved that she had put it there. She couldn't help it when she felt that hers got just a little bit bigger. Her backwards step faltered a little bit as she heard the quick snapping of twigs to her right. She didn't even have a chance to look.

The wolf had dived out of the brush along the trail and threw itself at Jane's side, knocking her to the ground. Before they had even hit the dirt, the wolf had missed her neck, but instead, fit its entire mouth past Jane's shoulder and over her collar bone before sinking its teeth into muscle and bone with a sickening crunch. Jane had screamed as the huge canine gave its head a quick shake, snapping more bones and tearing muscle to shreds. Something deep in her chest ripped. She couldn't breathe. The panic and shock was not allowing her to use her limbs as she had wished. Jane had tried to fit her legs beneath the beast and push it off, but it was too heavy and it had her pinned. The wolf was easily as long as she was tall and definitely weighed nearly two hundred pounds. All she could do was swivel her hips in attempt to throw the creature off and futilely punch with one arm in the general area of its head as she could feel wetness completely soaking her side.

The pressure encasing her shoulder had loosened ever so slightly as she had heard a loud grunt and then a dull thud that had reverberated through the wolf. But the monster had tightened its grip once more with a ferocious snarl as it refused to move. Jane's vision started to blur and grow dark around the edges before she heard what could only have been Maura, scream.

"Let her go!"

Jane could feel the wolf's head jerk to the side as it yelped painfully before finally relenting and releasing her. The rustling of bushes and snapping of twigs sounded the beast's retreat.

Hands had cupped her face and turned her head to the side with the gentlest touch. Jane tried to focus, but everything was grey and there were so many white spots blocking her vision. One hand was brushing her cheek. Another was prodding and pressing on her shoulder. At least she thought it was, because one side felt heavier than the other. She couldn't really feel much right now besides the soft hand moving back and forth from her cheek to her neck. There was noise. It seemed familiar, but it was so sad. It sounded like crying. Jane looked for the source of the sounds. She tried to talk and reassure them. Such a beautiful voice should not be sobbing. The words caught in her throat behind a thick coppery wetness pushing its way out. The calming words became a painful round of coughing and choking. She didn't know if she was shaking, or if the hands holding her and clearing her airway were shaking, or maybe it was both. It was probably both. The sobbing got louder, and she could make out a few words before the world went dark.

"No, please, Jane, please you can’t, please God, no. Help is coming. Please Jane, just please hold on!"

 

 


	2. Over the River and Through the Woods (Part 2)

_It’s not possible for a wolf to be that size. There are no wolves in Massachusetts. Coyotes have been seen in the area. It's not possible for a coyote to be that size. Possibly an abandoned pet dog. Domesticated dogs do not get that big._  

 

Maura's mind was frantically trying to explain the sight before her as she brought the rock down on the head and neck of the creature time after time. It wasn't letting go. It seemed to grip Jane in its teeth even harder, intent on keeping its prey. She noticed Jane's movements had become more sluggish and she had stopped screaming. A new fear sunk deep in her gut. The fear of the wolf had passed, worry for Jane has turned into absolute terror. This monster was going to kill her. Jane was going to be taken from her. Jane was going to bleed to death. Jane was going to die.

 

The scream ripped from her throat echoed through the woods with every ounce of fear and desperation Maura possessed, as she readjusted the rock in her hands and raised it above her head.

 

"Let her go!"

 

She brought the rock down with both hands so the slightly pointed end struck the wolf just above its left eye. The beast finally released Jane as it yelped in pain and whipped its head back. The strike had broken the wolf's brow, causing it to collapse into its eye socket. Blinded, the wolf had run back into the brush from whence it came. It was out of sight within seconds. 

 

_Oh God, what-_

 

Maura's thought was cut off as she registered a scuffling noise behind her. As she turned, she nearly collapsed at the sight of Jane's broken form. Still flat on her back, Jane was struggling to push herself backwards away from the already departed threat of the wolf with her leg, but was otherwise immobile. Her legs were barely able to bring her to her friend's side before giving out and kneeling beside Jane's head. One hand reached to touch her cheek, practically begging for a response. Jane's eyes were open, but were unfocused as they darted from side to side. Maura was unsure if it was actually Jane leaning her head into her touch or just her wishful thinking. Jane's breathing was shallow and harsh. Remembering she had left her phone in the car, she had fumbled for Jane's phone in one of her pockets, praying it was still functional. By some miracle it was. As she held the phone to her ear with one hand, the other occupied itself with ripping the sleeve from Jane's shirt. 

 

_The Superior Thyroid artery, the Common, Internal and External Carotid arteries-_

 

"9-1-1, what is your emergency?"

 

“Officer down! Officer down at the Blue Hills Reservation! We were attacked by a wolf, or some very large dog!” Maura had pressed the torn shirt sleeve to Jane's wounds, but the blood was still soaking through the makeshift bandage and was soaking her hand.

 

“An air lift is on the way, what is your name?”

 

“I’m Doctor Maura Isles, Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth. The Officer is Detective Jane Rizzoli, Victor-8-2-5, it bit her neck and shoulder,  **she's bleeding out, please you have to help!** _"_  

 

Maura's pleas had turned to sobs as she tried to speak through her tears. If she couldn't give the dispatcher the information she needed, she wouldn't be able to get the help Jane desperately needed in time. She put the phone on speaker and placed it on the ground so she could use both hands in attempt to keep Jane's blood inside of her body.

 

"Okay, Dr. Isles," Maura could hear frantic typing in the background. "The air lift should be there in about fifteen minutes. Do you know where in the Blue Hills you are?"

 

"We took the three and a half mile trail, we were just going for a morning run, I don't- I can't remember what the trail was called, but it’s on the southeast end. We were about a mile away from where the trail loops back around at the entrance, when the thing jumped out of nowhere and it-it just  **attacked her."**

 

"Where did the wolf go?"

 

"It took off, I hit it over the head with a rock. I think, I'm sure I managed to crush its brow bone and cause significant damage to its eye before it ran off."

 

"Dr. Isles, is Detective Rizzoli still conscious?" The questions were asked so calmly, and Maura silently thanked that someone knew what to do, that someone was going to help. Jane was slightly shaking, the adrenaline was leaving her body and going into shock.

 

"S-she's awake but not responsive. She's lost a lot of blood, I think she's going into shock-  **oh God** _."_  Jane's torso had lurched as blood was expelled from her mouth in a round of violent coughing. She used one hand to tilt Jane's head to the side and used the other to swipe out the thick blood and spit from her friend's mouth, clearing the airway.

 

Removing her hands from the wound on Jane's shoulder had moved the makeshift bandage and revealed the damage. Maura couldn't stop herself from looking at the angry wound. 

 

 _Crushing of the right clavicle and scapula, possibly damaging the Brachiocephalic, Subclavian and Internal Thoracic arteries. Obvious severe breaking of ribs one through four, puncturing the lung._   _Trapezius and Sternocleidomastoid muscles are no doubtingly torn to shreds-_

 

"Dr. Isles! Maura, are you still there?" Maura's eyes were ripped from Jane's wounds as she tried to focus on the dispatcher's questions.

 

"Yes- Yes I'm still here." She took a deep shuddering breath to calm herself as she noticed Jane's eyes were beginning to close. "No, please, Jane, please you can’t, _please God, no_. Help is coming. Please Jane, just  _please hold on_!"

 

Jane's eyes had fluttered slightly, like she was trying to do as Maura asked. Still, her eyelids shut, blocking Maura from seeing those same brown eyes she had gazed into for the last five years she has known the Detective. The eyes she had fallen in love with. Maura was gasping for air as the thought that she would never see those eyes again gripped her.

 

"Maura! Maura, what is happening?"

 

"She started coughing up blood and lost consciousness. She's still breathing, but it’s ragged and sporadic. I-I think her lung was punctured by one of her ribs." Maura's vision was starting to tunnel and she was beginning to feel dizzy. All she could see was Jane's face, pale white with blood seeping from her mouth and shoulder, soaking into her shirt, her hair, the ground, staining red everything that was within reach.

 

"Keep talking to me Maura! The air lift is almost there, but you have to keep Jane going until help arrives! I need you to take a second and breathe, okay? Take deep breaths and let them out slowly alright? Can you do that for me?" Maura knew what the dispatcher was doing. The woman on the phone knew Maura was going into shock herself and not breathing properly. She was trying to get the doctor's mind to focus less on her life falling apart underneath her hands, and more on the simple act of breathing. Maura recalled the recommended second ratio for calming breaths. As she resumed keeping pressure on Jane's wound, she inhaled deeply for seven seconds and let that same breath out over eleven more. Very quickly her head stopped spinning, but she kept her focus on Jane's face, looking for any sign of further distress.

 

"Okay, Maura you're doing good, just keep breathing like that. The helicopter should be there any second." True to her word, Maura could hear the loud thumping of helicopter blades and the breaking of tree branches above her. Hands belonging to at least two other people gently nudged her hands out of the way, covering Jane's shoulder with a massive amount of bandages. A third person had guided Maura a few steps back, just far enough to be out of the way, but still close enough to see Jane.

 

After the bandages were quickly secured, Jane's arm tied to her chest and her neck in a brace, she was gently rolled onto a stretcher board and carried off to the air lift. One of the hands that were gripping Maura's shoulders lowered to her back to guide her to the air lift as well. A sense of relief swept over her at the realization that they were allowing her to come with them.

 

Jane had miraculously held on the entire time she was in the helicopter. As soon as she was secured inside and the doors closed, the EMT's had begun a blood transfusion and an IV, all while continuing pressure on the wound. While the rescue helicopter was larger than a standard ambulance aircraft, it was clear that it was not meant to hold more than the pilot, the patient, and three EMT’s. She wasn’t sure why they let her on, but she wasn’t about to bring it up.

 

Maura's eyes never left Jane's face, hoping for just one more glimpse at those eyes. Jane was still the entire time. They arrived at the hospital in minutes, and Jane was whisked away within seconds of the doors opening again. A crowd of nurses, doctors, and hospital security were waiting on the roof and ran with the EMT's to the elevator, rushing Jane away to surgery. One of the EMT's had waited behind and helped guide Maura down from the helicopter. Completely drained of her energy, her legs had given out as soon as her feet hit the ground.

 

"Whoa there, It's gonna be alright, they're gonna fix her up, I'm sure." The EMT had caught her by the elbows to prevent her falling to the pavement. His attempt of reassurance fell on deaf ears. Maura knew the damage. The surgeons could make a mistake and further damage an artery, or they could miss a laceration, they might not even have to make a mistake in surgery. Jane's body had undergone a massive amount of trauma and stress and who knows the amount of blood she has lost? Her heart could give out at any second.

 

"Please let her be okay. She has to be okay."


	3. Safe and Sound

Jane had nudged her front door closed with a foot after she had managed to shoo her overbearing mother out of her apartment, and locked the door behind her. After she had let herself in using her "emergencies only" key while Jane had slept, Angela had cleaned her entire apartment. She also managed to stuff her fridge full of enough home cooked meals to last her the next month, and sorted out all of Jane's medication. The second Jane had woken up, her mother rushed into the bedroom and had started changing the sheets. It wasn't until she had run out of things to clean and had directed her fussing to the thick bandaging and sling on her daughters right arm and shoulder, that Jane had reminded her beloved mother of their arrangement and had sent her on her way.

 

The detective was released from the hospital only yesterday, after being forced to stay there by her mother and best friend for the last two weeks. Just long enough for her lung to fully heal, and her ribs to repair themselves enough to not bother her every time she took a breath. Her arm and shoulder were still in bad shape. Jane had an irritating few months of physical therapy ahead of her.

 

During her stay at the hospital, Jane could get rid of her mother when her hovering became irritating; however Maura was a different story. From the moment Jane had woken up from surgery, Maura was a permanent fixture in her room. When she had insisted that Maura didn't have to stay and she should go home, or go back to work, the anxiety on the doctor's face would quickly pull an insistence that the Doctor should stay from Jane's mouth. She supposed she didn't mind Maura's fussing so much.

 

Over the last fourteen days, she had been subjugated to a seemingly endless amount of shots, treatments, and antibiotics to fight off infection, rabies and a multitude of other possible diseases that can be found in a giant man eating wolf's mouth. Just about everyone from the precinct had stopped by for a visit and to hear for themselves about the wolf. They were all sorely disappointed however. Every time the wolf was brought up, Jane had noticed Maura's entire body tensing. Noticing her discomfort, Jane had given the same answer to everyone who asked. "It was a giant wolf, and it jumped from out of nowhere," and had left it at that. Some people wondered if the size of the animal was being exaggerated, but once they heard the nurses confirming what the doctors had said, that they would have easily believed it was a bear if it weren’t for the very large, very not-bear tracks left behind at the reservation.

 

When it came time to be discharged, an impressive passive aggressive spat between Maura and Angela had broken out over who would be better suited to take care of her. Both of them were attempting to be nice while giving a list of reasons why they were better suited for the task. Angela was her mother, but Maura was a medical professional, but Maura only worked on dead people, but she still had a wealth of medical knowledge, but Angela had the time, but Maura could take time off.

 

Quickly tiring of being spoken about as if she wasn't even there, Jane had pointed out that it was her non-dominant hand that was injured and it was secured quite well with the very obnoxious sling. Therefore, there was no reason she couldn't take care of herself at her own apartment. Expecting the protests, Jane had once again interrupted and had compromised with both women; Angela was allowed to come over to help cook and clean, while Maura was allowed to come over to help her change bandages and with her physical therapy exorcises, as long as they both had called or texted beforehand. Double checking her phone, Jane confirmed her suspicions that she had no texts or missed calls from her mother. She did however, have one text from Maura. 

_Well it's not like I expected any different. Not even out a full day out and both of them are fussing._ Unlocking her phone, she clicked on the text.

 

_-I hope you're awake, I know how much you move around in your sleep and I can only imagine the damage if you managed to turn yourself onto your injured side in the middle of the night._

 

Jane grinned as she tapped out a reply

 

_-Nah, I woke up maybe thirty minutes ago trying to subdue hurricane Angela. She managed to clean the whole place while I was asleep. She tried to do your job, so I kicked her out._

 

Setting her phone on the counter, Jane had gone to get the meds her Doctor had given her. A blood thinner to prevent clots, an anti-biotic to finish off a persistent low grade infection, and a muscle relaxer slash pain reliever. Maura already stressed that the doctor prescribed this particular drugs because they work well together and each one is crucial to her recovery. Even the pain pills. She hated having to take them, but between the countless plates, staples, and screws they used to put her arm back together, and the stitched together skin and tendons, Jane knew that if she didn't stay on top of her med schedule she was going to be in a world of hurt that would only result in misery and a delayed recovery. She just wished they wouldn't make her as loopy as they did. After making sure she gave the small handful of pills her most disgusted glare, she managed to swallow them down with a glass of water.

 

Jane snatched up her phone as it buzzed.

 

_-I'm going off of the highly probable hypothesis that your mother didn't adhere to the agreement, and gave no prior notification before barging in, in her typical "I'm your mother, if I don't fuss over you who will" fashion? Regardless, if she managed to get you to take your medication, I won't be too offended at her attempts to usurp my responsibilities._

 

If there was a way to smugly text, Jane came as close as you could get as she typed out her reply.

 

_-I'll have you know, I choked 'em down all on my own without having anyone pester me about it. If you wanted a chance to look at the bandages today, you have maybe twenty minutes before I go into great detail on the comfort of my own couch, and how soft Jo's fur is._

 

Maura's response was almost immediate

 

_-I actually just left, I should be there in a few minutes. The only thing more difficult than treating a grumpy fussy Jane is a flailing drugged one. I'll be there soon._

 

Jane's stupid grin quickly soured when a certain stench wafted under her nose.

 

"Bl-guh-GOD, Jo!  _REALLY?!"_  The small dog scratched at the door with a whimper. "Jeeze, you need to go so bad you gotta let loose your nasty dog farts all over the place? Sweet merciful-" Pulling the neck of her shirt over her nose as she went, she opened every window before snapping a leash on Jo's collar. "Hopefully your nastiness will air out before Maura shows up. Come on let's get this over with."

 

By the time Jo was done and they had returned to the apartment, Jane felt an odd lightness from her head and shoulders. She stretched her back and uninjured arm, attempting to shake the feeling. Judging by the way it instead slowly spread to the rest of her body, Jane concluded that the pills were already starting to take effect.

 

 _That's odd, it's only been about ten minutes._ Walking back into the kitchen, Jane had picked up the orange bottle of pain medication. ”‘Do not take on empty stomach.’ Probably wasn't the best idea to take these before breakfast then.”

 

Opening the fridge for something to eat, she quickly lost interest at what her mother's cooking had to offer. Everything looked too green, and all the green things were packed together with soup things. It looked like if she so much as nudged one of the items aside, everything would come tumbling out. Closing the fridge, Jane gave a small chuckle at the visual of her buried alive under a mountain of her mother's food for an unsuspecting Maura to stumble into.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It took Maura about fifteen minutes longer than she expected to arrive at Jane's apartment. There had apparently been a pile up on the freeway bad enough to require the detoured traffic to be routed through Jane's neighborhood. Knowing it was most likely in vein, Maura hoped beyond hope that Jane's medication hadn't kicked in yet. Angela had warned her that pain meds had a tendency to revert Jane into a fussy six year old who can't sit still.

 

Knocking on Jane's door, Maura waited for a response.

 

"It's open!"

 

Maura turned the handle, but it wouldn't budge. "Are you sure about that?"

 

"Aw, damn it. That's right. Hang on –Ow! Shit!"

 

"Jane? Are you alright?!" Maura couldn't have gotten her key out faster as she flung open the door. Maura's panic was quickly replaced with exasperation and frustration. There Jane was, upside down on her couch. Her long legs were hooked around the back, with her shoulders resting flat on the seat. The wild mess of curls pooled on the ground as an upside down expression of embarrassment stared back like a deer in the headlights.

 

"I uh, I tried to lean against the back of the couch and, um. I might have forgotten how low the back of the couch is. I may or may not have fallen backwards. And I sorta thought it was kinda comfortable so I may have been like this for the last ten minutes."

 

After recovering from her shock, Maura quickly went to help Jane sit upright.

 

"Jane, how could you have possibly- You could have really hurt yourself being upside down like that! What if all the blood rushed to your head and you passed out before I got here!?”

 

Very gently, Maura helped support Jane's weight along her back, and guided her away from the couch so she had room to comfortably untangle her legs from the back of the couch.

 

"I'm sorry, I didn't think I was going to fall, and I had landed mostly on my left side, and it only twinged a little bit when I fell, but I promise it was comfortable after it stopped hurting, but when you knocked on the door and I remembered that the door was locked, I forgot you had a key like Ma, and so I tried to get up, I really did, but it hurt when I tried to move from that spot, but I had to get the door for you, so I tried to slide down the couch the rest of the way, but that only hurt even more, and you were waiting out in the hallway and Icouldn'tfigureouthowtogetdownand-"

 

Maura had to cover Jane's mouth with her hand. If there was any hope that Jane's meds hadn't taken effect, it was certainly gone now. This sort of thing tended to happen when she was doped up and allowed free reign.

 

The first time this had happened was a few months ago when Jane had dislocated her shoulder and was put in a sling for a week. Jane had tried to pull down one of the plates on the top shelf in the cupboard. She had lost her balance and brought the entire stack of plates crashing down onto the counter and floor. After a quick inspection to make sure Jane was unharmed, Maura had proceeded in scolding Jane for reaching for high objects, when she had an obvious lack of control of her equilibrium. Maura started to panic a little when Jane's blurted explanation quickly turned into tears and blubbering apologies, simply holding her friend until she had cried herself out and allowed Maura to help her to bed. She recounted the event to Angela afterword and was slightly confused when she was interrupted by the older woman laughing.

 

"My Jane would always get into everything when she was little. More often than not she would end up breaking something she wasn't supposed to be playing with in the first place. She was always so curious, and would get so scared that I would be mad at her when she broke something, but bless her hart, she would never lie about it. So many days I would come home to a guilt faced little girl who would start rattling off before I even realized something was broken." Angela paused for a moment, laughing at the memory.

 

"First few times it happened, I admit I was so mad, I just stood there fuming as she went on and on, and if you kept quiet, it would only make her all the more upset over the situation. Once she would start crying, there was no consoling her. I found out the best way, was to get her to stop before she even got going. I wasn't kidding when I told you she goes back to being a six year old."

 

With Jane now sitting upright on the couch, and Maura kneeling on the floor with her hand still covering the detective’s mouth, Maura implemented a technique she found that worked quite effectively in settling Jane down. Maura looked into Jane's watery eyes with the calmest and most serious expression she could muster. When she was sure Jane was paying attention, she smiled her biggest smile and laughed, showing Jane that she wasn't mad in the slightest. Feeling Jane smile beneath her hand, Maura brought it around to the back of Jane's head and brought their foreheads together so they were touching.

 

"You nut-ball."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so everyone knows, I have 12 chapters written of this story and will be putting them up early morning Saturday through Wednesday (Pacific time). Once all 12 chapters are up, updates will be irregular and less frequent as I write when the fancy strikes.


	4. Complications

A week or so had gone by, and a bit of a routine had formed. Angela always stopped by first thing in the morning before work at the Café to pick up around the apartment, cook breakfast, and make sure Jane had done her morning stretches and taken her meds. Maura would occasionally come along on days when there was no rush to get into the office. Jane would have the majority of the day to herself, but was able to find one thing or another to keep her busy. That usually meant playing with Jo, watching TV, and grumbling about the lack of greasy foods in her fridge. The latter was courtesy of Dr. Isles intercepting Angela as she stocked the kitchen. Anything deemed unhealthy was whisked away, probably to the precinct, to never be seen again.

Maura would come over after work to check up on Jane. To clean the wound, change bandages, and help with the more difficult physical therapy exorcises. These checkups frequently turned into staying for dinner, sometimes to watching a movie, and on a few occasions, staying the night. However each day that she stopped by, Maura noticed something a little off about Jane. Particularly, her injuries.

After many nights of changing bandages, Maura became very familiar with the detective's wounds. The most obvious ones being the two large incisions the surgeons made to replace Jane’s shoulder and scapula. The first was the slightly curve-lined deltopectoral incision that the surgeons had cut in order to remove and replace the broken and splintered bones that had made up the detective’s upper arm. The cut went from the top of Jane's collarbone, across the front of her shoulder, and halfway down her upper arm, ending just over her bicep. This was stitched together and once healed, would leave a somewhat discreet scar. The other incision was more noticeable. Starting at the top of her shoulder and stretching down nearly a foot over where her now metal scapula was fit in place, was an angry looking patchwork line of staples. This would unfortunately leave a noticeable rope like scar, even if healed under ideal conditions.

The other wounds had been deep punctures, making a distinctive arch underneath the collarbone, and an identical arch over the shoulder blade, caused by the wolf's long fangs. Both arches of puncture wounds trailed along bruised flesh at the juncture between Jane's neck and shoulder. There, at the juncture, the flesh had very clearly been torn and scissored apart by the wolf's sharp carnivore molars, designed by evolution to tear and rip their prey's flesh from bone. A total of eighty-seven stitches were used to seal up the two lines of lacerations, and the punctures were left to heal on their own. As each day passed, Maura observed the beep black and blue bruising that surrounded each area of broken skin, turn into a pale, barely there, yellow.

It was healing, but Maura believed it wasn't healing at a normal pace. After it being about two weeks after the incident, the stitches had already been removed and the marks from the wolf's bite and the incisions the doctors had left, should at this point, stop scabbing over and be beginning to scar. However every time she checked it, the skin would still be irritated and leaking fluids. The only reason Maura could possibly think of as the cause, was the lingering infection around the wolf bite that would just not go away. They already had to have the doctor prescribe another dose, and if the second dose wouldn’t do it, they would have to use a stronger antibiotic, which could complicate Jane’s healing process.

Each time she would come over, it seemed like Jane would have less and less energy and always seemed to be uncomfortable in some way. Whenever Maura would ask about it, Jane would insist she was fine, and was just a little tired because of all the pills. Maura didn't press, and wrote it off as the exhausting healing process. However when Maura came over that night, Jane didn't look too good.

The second she walked in through the door, she noticed that Jane was lying on the couch, left arm flung over her eyes, appearing to be asleep. It did strike Maura as odd that Jo Friday hadn’t rushed up to greet her as she always did. Instead, the small terrier only gave the doctor a small glance, while she stayed lying flat between Jane’s feet with her head on her paws, staring intently at her owner. When she closed the door behind her, Jane had mumbled something. Still believing Jane was asleep, Maura didn't pay her much mind until the mumbling became louder and rather insistent. It took a few seconds before Maura realized that Jane was calling out to her.

"Maura," Alarmed by the strangled sound escaping from her friends mouth, Maura was by her side at an instant. "It hurts, Maur, everything hurts." The words were brokenly whimpered behind bared teeth, through panting breaths. The fingers of her left hand were constantly clenching and unclenching, the muscles in her forearm flexing with strain. Jo whined from her spot, wiggling to get just a bit closer.

Trying her best to hide the fearful tremor in her voice, Maura shushed softly as she stroked her detective's face, trying to calm her. Her hand nearly flinched back out of shock when Jane's scalding cheek came into contact with her palm. Jane definitely had a fever of at least a hundred and three.

"How does it hurt, Jane? What does it feel like?"

"Like my whole body is cramping. Anything that moves or touches hurts like a bitch." Each sentence was a harsh breath forced out from behind a clenched jaw. Maura knew what had to have been the cause for this fever, and was terrified at how bad it was going to look.

She couldn't keep her voice from shaking as she asked, "Jane, sweetie, I need to look at your shoulder, okay? You need to sit up for me, can you do that?" Maura had to repeat it several times, coaxing her along, before Jane started to move. Although reluctant to leave her masters side, Jo hopped down from the couch, but curled up by the coffee table where she could still see Jane’s face.

Between the pain and her fever, Jane seemed to be slightly delirious. As she bent her uninjured arm beneath her to push herself up. Her shaking seemed to wrack her whole body as she tried to support her own weight, her eyes scrunched together in effort. She only made it halfway before her arm gave out with a gasp. Maura had managed to loop her arm around her friend's back to prevent her from falling all the way. Ever so gently, Maura looped her other arm around Jane's thighs and shifted them so her feet were resting on the floor. Propping Jane's left side up between the armrest and the back of the couch, Maura removed a pair of rubber gloves from her purse. She held her breath in anticipation as she pulled the sling off and removed the thick bandaging around Jane's shoulder.

The wound didn't look as bad as she was expecting, but it was obviously infected. Her entire shoulder had swollen into a deep, shiny red, and was radiating heat. The area around the wound was puckered and yellowed with puss. Maura couldn't understand how it could have possibly gotten this infected, this fast. She had just changed the bandaging the night before, and she saw only the small hint of infection that had persisted the last month. She knew Jane would adamantly refuse to going to the hospital for this, so for now, the only option she had was to take care of it herself. Maura steeled herself for what was to come. The process of cleaning a wound this infected was not going to be pleasant. For either of them.

Placing her hand on the side of Jane's neck to get her attention, Maura tried to tell Jane what the plan of action was. Her eyes still closed, she took the slight movement of Jane's head towards her as acknowledgement and continued on.

"Jane? The infection has gotten worse. A lot worse. Unless you’d be willing to go back to the hospital-” She paused at Jane’s harsh grunt that could only be translated as a no. “Then I'm going to need to clean this out before I bandage it. It's going to hurt. It's going to hurt really badly, alright? But we're going to get through this so you don't end up in the hospital again." Jane had deepened her grimace and gave a quick nod.

Leaving the detective under the watch of her faithful companion, Maura fetched the overstocked first aid kit she insisted Jane keep in her bathroom and retrieved the equipment she was going to need. A pair of tweezers, alcohol swabs, antiseptic ointment, Q-tips, a large needle-less syringe filled with a saline solution, gauze, and fresh bandaging. Placing a clean towel over the coffee table, she removed each item from their sterile packaging, and laid them out on the cloth. Turning the Detective's head to her left, mostly to give her room to work and partially to spare Jane the visual, Maura took a deep breath before she began.

Upon closer inspection of the wound, Maura was relieved to see that the infected areas that had been previously stitched closed were relatively shallow. Holding a pad of gauze at the ready, Maura used her fingers to push down and squeeze out the puss and other infected fluids. She used up almost all of the gauze and a handful of Q-tips to wipe it away. The Doctor had made a point to focus on completing the task and to not look at Jane, knowing that the second she saw the pain written on Jane's face, she wouldn't be able to continue. Over half an hour went by on this process alone, though it felt like hours. Jane had become soaked in sweat and was practically quivering in agony by the time Maura finished.

"Almost done, Jane, I just need to flush and disinfect the area and bandage it, and we're all done." Jane nearly sobbed in relief. Her pain tolerance had topped out within the first five minutes Maura had started and it was only going down from there.

Maura had changed her gloves, and using the tweezers to gently hold the wound open, began flushing the infected area with the saline, using the gauze to quickly dry the area afterword. The sting of the saline was intense, but nearly welcome after the wounds had been pressed, squeezed and pinched for the better part of an hour. The alcohol swabs weren't even registered as they were swiped over the sensitive skin. Jane nearly laughed with the relief the antiseptic ointment brought as the Doctor smoothly spread an abundance of it over her skin with just the tips of her fingers, and gently put the clean bandaging in place.

"There. All done. I'll get you your pain killers and get you to bed." Jane was able to offer a small smile and a quiet hum in response. Her shoulder wasn't throbbing quite as much anymore, but she was too exhausted to register much besides the fact that Maura was here and was making her better.

As Jane swallowed her pills and drank the full glass of water, Maura said in no uncertain terms, "If your fever hasn't gone down by morning, or the infection doesn't look any better, you're going to the hospital." It was said with such finality; Jane knew not to argue, so she just nodded her head. She passed the now empty glass back to Maura and heard it clink as it was set down on the coffee table. When she felt a cool damp cloth touch her cheek the brunette opened her eyes for the first time since before Maura arrived at her apartment. Tired brown eyes watched as the doctor wiped the sweat from her cheeks and forehead. When the cloth was brought down to her neck, hazel eyes finally met brown with a warm, loving smile.

"Thanks, Maur," Jane mumbled.

"Any time, Jane." The Detective had held her gaze a few moments longer, just watching Maura smile. Memorizing that dimple, and the way those eyebrows came up above the bridge of her nose. There was nothing that could quite describe the color of those eyes. Hazel was too ordinary, no, there had to be a word out there to describe the intense green that blended inward to an almost reddish brown, with flecks of gold scattered throughout the iris. Her gaze was finally broken when Maura moved to stand up.

"Alright, let's get you to bed."

It took some time, but Maura was able to help Jane to her room and managed to maneuver her into some pajamas. As the blonde tucked her friend into bed, a sudden terrifying thought came to Jane.

"Are you leaving?"

"No, don't worry." Maura hushed. "I just have to clean up the living room, and I'll be right back."

"Promise?"

"I promise." Maura couldn't help the sweet smile that was reserved only for Jane. She lovingly swiped her fingers through long curls, tucking them behind an ear. "Get some sleep, Jane."

"Kay, g'night Maur." The brunette sleepily murmured as Maura moved to shut off the lights and close the door.

"Good night, Jane."

"Love you." It was spoken so softly, Maura almost didn't catch it, but it stopped her as she was just about to close the door.

"… I love you too, Jane." She whispered into the open gap of the door before closing it, but she was sure her friend was already asleep. After the door had clicked shut, she had turned and leaned against it. "I don't think you realize how much." She murmured before she allowed the tears to fall, and she slid to the floor outside of Jane's room.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, let me just say I am not a medical professional. I looked up what I could, and even asked my mom, who has 30+ years nursing experience, what she could tell me about traumatic shoulder injuries. Obviously, an infection as bad as Jane's would require hospitalization, and doctors would normally hold more concern over such a persistent infection. In my mind, to go that rout would derail future plans and the writer in me says "If it's not a thing that would actually happen, then cut it out and write something else more believable." Honestly I love this chapter too much to do that, and to me it feels like a true beginning to the thick of the story. For those of you who jumped over from Fanfiction . net and are tracking this edited version, you might notice quite a few changes to this chapter in particular. I am editing the FF.net version as well as I go along, and hopefully once everything is edited and fixed up, I can start getting into the writing flow for new chapters after #12. Just keep in mind though, that is a hope, not a promise.


	5. Bad Dreams Are Made of These

_The woods were darker this time. There was no gentle lighting along the horizon as the sun rose. The sky instead looked bleak and gray. Instead of the crisp smell of mulch and damp earth, the forest only reeked of mold and decay. Bitter winds were blowing shattered leaves into the air._

_Realizing what was about to happen, what always happened, Maura stopped running and called out to Jane ahead of her. To her relief, she was actually able to get the words out, and Jane had actually stopped. A near frantic form of hope had begun to well up in her chest to the point where she thought she might start sobbing. It could be different this time._

_"What's wrong, Maur, why'd ya stop?" Jane had half turned around to face her. She was completely ignorant to what was about to happen. That hopeful feeling that had built up so quickly shattered and plunged down into her gut, turning to fear when she realized that now, now was when she couldn't talk._

_Sometimes she stops, but can't call out to Jane, and the detective keeps going down the trail. Sometimes is able to get the words out, and she calls to Jane, but she still doesn't stop. This was the worst one yet. Where Maura saw the curiosity on her friends face change to sheer terror as the wolf dived at Jane and pinned her to the ground. This part was always the same. She couldn't move. She wasn't allowed to. She couldn't so much as look away as the wolf mercilessly ripped and tore at the detective's neck. Not until Jane stopped moving. Stopped screaming. Finally the beast had stopped and pulled away. Its muzzle and chest coated with red. Yellow eyes staring at her as it backed away to the edge of the path, almost as if it was smugly giving her permission to move her feet._

_It didn't leave. It remained just on the edge, watching as Maura fell to her knees and pulled Jane's corpse into her arms. She wailed as she rocked back and forth, Jane's body in her lap, her head being held to the sobbing woman's chest. She looked up to see the wolf prowling closer. Defiantly, Maura didn't move. She only glared right back as she clutched Jane closer. Her gaze was only broken when instead of Jane's cold skin beneath her fingers, she had begun to feel fur. Looking down, she saw it was no longer the body of her friend she was desperately holding. Instead it was the head of a massive black wolf. Its eyes were open and were almost glowing red. It was staring right back at her. Maura quickly jumped to her feet when it had begun to move. She wanted to get away, to run down the pathway, but she couldn't look away from the two wolves that were now slowly walking side by side towards her. She could only back away at a painfully slow pace._

_While the gray wolf remained stoic and calm, the black one was radiating anger. Its mouth hung open, allowing its constant rumble to echo through the air, showing its gleaming white fangs. The black wolf's growling slowly started to sound like Jane's voice._

_"It's because of you. Your fault. Your fault!" the wolf had continued to repeat itself in a twisted form of her friend's voice, almost like a chant as it got closer and closer, stepping in front of the gray wolf._

****

_**It's my fault, all my fault.** _

_It was about seven feet from her when it had stopped. Maura was silently begging to wake up, but she received no such luck. She watched, paralyzed with fear as the black wolf crouched, and with a ferocious roar, leapt at her. Yellow eyes never stopped watching from the path._

 

Maura bolted upright in bed, breathing heavily. She jumped a little when a deep grumble of protest came from her left. She quickly reached for the bedside lamp, needing the visual confirmation that Jane alive. While it seemed silly, she wouldn’t mind making sure that her friend was not actually a wolf. The dim light snapped on and Maura immediately felt her heart rate slow as she gazed at the sleeping form of her best friend. She guessed that Jane had been moving around in her sleep, seeing as her hair was all over the place. Very gently, she brushed the black locks away from the detective's face. The familiar rush of adoration for her friend made itself known as she saw the irritation of being jostled, fade from Jane's face, to be replaced with the calm of sleep. Her narrowed brows relaxed, and her small grimace diminished, returning to the half open position it was originally in, if the small amount of drool leaking onto the pillow was any indication.

 

Having finally recovered from her nightmare, Maura thought back on it. The dream was a reoccurring one that she suffered from most nights. She hadn't told anyone about them. How could she? Jane was nearly killed by a monster, had to undergo surgery, and was looking forward to what was most likely going to be several months of physical therapy before she would be considered fully recovered. Yet here she was, complaining of not getting enough sleep?

 

This dream though, while it changed slightly each night, always had several common occurrences. One, she was never able to warn Jane in time. Two, she had to watch the wolf maul Jane until she ultimately died. Three, the gray wolf never left and was always watching her. And while Jane didn’t always turn into a wolf, sometimes she would simply reanimate with her gaping wounds, she always blamed her for what happened and attacked her before finally waking up. Maura wondered on more than one occasion if Jane actually did blame her for what had happened. She had asked her once and had been assured that she didn't. She wasn't so sure though.

 

" _How, Jane? How is it not my fault? You should hate me! If it weren't for-"_

 

" _If I weren't for the_ ** _wolf_** _, Maura!" Jane had yelled, interrupting her friend's hysterics. Jane had waited for this outburst for the last two days. Ever since she woke up from surgery, Maura was unable to look her in the eyes. Jane knew it was coming, but had hoped Maura would step forward with her feelings. After two days of awkward silences, Jane had forced Maura to confront her emotions. The interruption had stunned the Doctor into silence. After taking a deep breath, Jane had continued._

 

" _If it weren't for the_ ** _wolf_** _I would have been okay. We would have finished our run, gone back home, and I would have caved to the idea of that picnic. We would have spent the day in the sun with Ma, Tommy and TJ and most likely have gone to the Robber to meet up with Frankie, Frost and Korsak for dinner. We would have ended up going back to your place and watched some old black and white movie you would have insisted we watch… If the wolf hadn't attacked me." She sighed when Maura's only response was to hang her head and shake it, not really hearing Jane's words. She tried again speaking softer, pleading for Maura to listen._

 

" _I can hardly blame you for what an animal did, Maura, even if I wanted to. You blame yourself, saying you were the one who wanted to go running so early that day, but I was the one who wanted to go running in the woods. You say it's your fault for not being able to warn me in time, but you didn't see it until it was already too late. You said so yourself and seeing as you didn't break out into hives and pass out at the time; I'm going to remind you that saying anything different is lying and spare you the itching." She received a barely there smile for the joke. A small victory at least._

 

" _I was the one who ran ahead of you. I heard the wolf a second before it jumped. Even if you did hear it moments before, and had been able to warn me, the thing still would have attacked. Would I have been hurt as bad? Maybe not."_

 

_Maura looked up, thinking Jane was finally going to see how it really was her fault. But Jane continued, "Or it could have been worse. Maybe I would have turned to face it completely, and it would have ripped out my throat? Or maybe I would have been able to get away and it would have tried to kill you instead. We both know if that had happened, I wouldn't have been smart enough to grab a rock and smash the shit out of its eye. I would have jumped right in the middle of it and still would have gotten hurt." She gave Maura a look as if to say 'you know I'm right.' Another small smile. Another victory._

 

 _“There are a million factors that contributed. But at the end of it all Maura, the fact is, you_ **_saved_ ** _my life. Not only can I not hate the person who saved my life, how could I ever hate my best friend?"_

 

Remembering Jane's words, Maura was able to banish the guilt that was clawing at her psyche. Deciding to leave the light on, the doctor laid back down facing the detective. The nightmares did not disturb her for the rest of the night.

 

As the days went by, Jane had begun to show some progress. The infection miraculously started healing and looked better after each day, mostly thanks to Maura’s insistence to check and clean Jane’s shoulder multiple times a day. As soon as the infection had cleared, it seemed her body was dead set on finally healing itself. It had been about a month and a half since Jane had been released from the hospital and already she was allowed out of her sling and her lacerations had finally started to scar. She had started to wean herself off of the pain meds, but was having a hard time with it. She had explained to Maura that it wasn't necessarily her shoulder that was bothering her so much, as it was that pain on top of her entire body aching as if she was doing a hard core full body workout every day. Jane no longer had a fever, and otherwise seemed to be okay. Maura theorized that it was possible that now she was being more active after several weeks of just lying on the couch or in her bed, Jane’s muscles could just be gaining their strength back.

 

On top of Jane going to see her physical therapist four days out of the week, Maura was still helping where she could, as well as pointing out to Jane that her quick healing rate was most likely thanks to her having adjusted to a healthier lifestyle. Already, she had almost all of her motion back in her arm and only suffered from residual aching. Maura had also pointed out that it was actually quite miraculous considering that at this rate, she would be allowed back to work within a few days. Cabin fever gets to everyone, needless to say Jane was chomping at the bit to get back to chasing down murderers. After a few rounds of begging and promising to take it easy, she was able to convince Cavanaugh to let her back to work, light duty of course, in a week.

 

Due to Jane having a seemingly endless amount of energy, Maura had to find ways to keep her distracted without her possibly injuring herself. Usually it was going through the list of approved exorcises that Jane's doctor had given her, over and over again. Jane could not seem to sit still until she was so exhausted, she would fall asleep wherever she was. It didn’t matter whether she was sitting at the table, or just leaning against the counter. Maura was starting to run out of ways to keep Jane occupied. As she had come to learn, if Jane has energy to burn and cannot find a way to unleash it, she has a tendency to get a little… grumpy.

 

"I don't  _want_ to go through the exercises again! I've already done them five times! I want to go  _running_  or, wrestle with Frankie, or hell, even go a few rounds with the punching bag!"

 

Maura had been spinning in circles trying to follow Jane as she quickly paced around the apartment.

 

"You know you can't do any of those yet,"

 

"I  _know_  I can't do any of those yet! Doesn't mean that I don't  _want_ to!"

 

"You don't need to raise your voice, and can you-Jane! Can you please stop pacing! At least not in circles, I'm getting dizzy!" Jane could tell that Maura was quickly starting to lose her patience. Huffing loudly, she confined her pacing to a straight line from her front door to the window.

 

Jane was getting frustrated herself. She knew she had to be getting on her friends nerves, and wanted to feel bad for it, but she just felt so anxious. She was so high strung, just about every muscle in her body was tensed up. She felt like she couldn't even control herself. She tried to sit down, relax, read a book, but she couldn't stop fidgeting and couldn't focus, and it didn't help at all with the fact that Maura seemed to always be there. Now don't get the wrong idea, she loved that Maura was around. It's just that she loved it a little too much. It made things that much more difficult to focus and to not do something she knew she would end up regretting. Every time Maura had passed her, her perfume would blanket over her senses, and she would have to catch herself before she could reach out and pull her friend close and kiss her breathless.

 

Jane had rolled her shoulders in frustration and hissed when her shoulder twinged. Unfortunately, this brought Maura to stand directly in front of her to make sure she was okay. Once again that  _damn_  perfume took hold of her senses. She wasn't able to stop the small whimper of desire that escaped her mouth. Maura thankfully translated it instead, as a whimper of pain, and had retrieved her pain medication and a glass of water.

 

"I know you don't like taking it, but if you're going to be back to work next week, then you need to take it easy." Handing the pill and water over to Jane, Maura had stopped the Detective's protest before she even had a chance to open her mouth, pleading with Jane instead of nagging her, "You don't have to be doped up all day, just maybe try to take one here and there when your shoulder starts to ache so you don't hurt yourself?" Jane gave her a smile before downing the pill and emptying the glass. This beautiful woman, no, this  _perfect_  woman, cared about her wellbeing so much, she would stick around even when she was being moody and even a downright bitch, just to make sure she doesn't suffer any unnecessary discomfort. It was enough to make her feel guilty, and to actually try to control her temper.

 

Jane had calmed down a little bit, after deciding that she would simply enjoy the time she got to spend with Maura before she had to go home that night. The doctor had already stayed the night before and had to get home to Bass at some point. So in the meantime they just talked and laughed with each other. Maura filled Jane in on the goings on around the bullpen. They talked about the drug bust that Frankie had got to lead, and how everyone at BPD now knew that Cavanaugh and Angela were an item because it was impossible for Cavanaugh to contain the goofiest grin every time he left the Café, or for Angela to not act like a smitten teenager every time he walked by to say hello.

 

After nearly an hour, Jane had finally relaxed thanks to the medication, and had followed Maura towards the kitchen to clean up after their late dinner. Jane's head being as muggy as it was, decided that it was the perfect time to lay on the charm. She had stepped up next to Maura by the sink, and had gone to nonchalantly lean against the counter. Well, she tried to. Step one in the patented Rizzoli Pick-Up Move, was to lean in close on one arm while crossing the ankles. Unfortunately, her current positioning would have her right arm supporting her weight on the counter. Jane had also misjudged how far away from the counter she actually was. Out of the corner of her eye, Maura had seen the arm come out to brace itself and quickly turned to stop her.

 

Before she could however, Jane realized her mistake and had quickly shifted her torso to the left. Unfortunately the lanky detective couldn't quite remember how to balance. She had overcompensated and practically threw herself to the other side of the kitchen, stumbling over her own feet that were still crossed at the ankles. Thankfully, with a few small hops and flailing of her arms, she did not fall and was able to stand upright in the middle of the kitchen. Maura was speechless, arms held out to catch Jane should she suddenly forget how to stand again.

 

The silence drew on until after blinking a few times, Jane had said, "Thank God for super abs, huh?" As she lifted the bottom of her shirt and looked down, poking her stomach with the other hand. Maura was about to crack up laughing, but quickly other thoughts filled her mind as she observed the 'super abs.'

 *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

While Jane had abdominal definition before, it was nothing like the defined six pack she was now sporting. Suddenly, she wanted nothing more than to run her hands along that stomach and around the Detective's trim waist. In her mind, she pictured herself on her knees, running her tongue down each hard line of muscle to the edge of those loose fitting sweats. Shaking herself from her fantasy, Maura had stepped forward and gently guided Jane's hands down to cover the source of her temptations.

 

Suddenly realizing how Jane must have obtained such a physique, Maura shouted in anger and alarm, "Have you been doing abdominal workouts!?"

 

"No! Honest, Maura I swear! I only do the ones on the list and only when you're here! And look, it’s not just my abs either, it’s everything else too! See?" Jane had started to panic again, thinking Maura was mad at her. When she had gone to pull her shirt off, Maura had stopped her, once again pulling the shirt down. If she could barely handle when Jane showed her abs, there was no way she would be able to stop herself if Jane had actually taken her shirt off.

 

"That's okay, Jane, I believe you. I'm not mad."

 

"Really? Promise?" The question was asked so meekly, Maura almost pinched her friend's cheeks.

 

"I promise. I think it's time you get to bed." She laughed a bit at the resulting pout. "You have an appointment to see the doctor early tomorrow so he can sign off on you returning to work, remember? I'll be here first thing in the morning and drive you over."

 

Jane didn't dwell on the fact that she could technically drive herself, or that she didn't really need someone there with her just to get a doctor's note. Or that if someone really did need to go with her, her mother would be able to just as easily. So instead, she walked the doctor to the door, hugged her goodnight, and said, "Thanks Maur, you're the best."


	6. Why Can't We Be Friends

*Trigger warning for this chapter for mentions of rape, abuse and some major violence*

 

Kissing the paper in her hands as she exited the office building, Jane left her doctor behind scratching his head. Maura agreed with the man on how odd it was that the detective could be considered healed enough to be _fully_ cleared for work, not just light duty, two months early. Yet Jane's happiness was just too contagious to dwell on the unexplainable. Surely she will have time later to find answers to the questions building in the back of her mind. For now, she instead decided to enjoy the moment. Besides, even though the detective’s case could be considered miraculous, Jane’s doctor insisted that she take two weeks of light duty anyway. Just to ease back into things and avoid any potential muscle strain. Not wanting to push her luck, Jane took what she could get and agreed.

 

Once he had the doctor's note in hand, Cavanaugh stayed true to his word and allowed Jane's return. Not one to ease back into things, Jane had immediately thrown herself into Korsak and Frost's case they had picked up just the day before.

 

With cases like these, it seemed like Boston was a proving ground for every sick murderous bastard out there. This case had them grasping at straws looking for a murderer whose victim was a young girl, Jennifer Berkeley, barely 19. Her corpse was found by a steel mill worker in the early morning in the deserted alleyway just on the edge of the mill's property. The murderer had raped and brutally beaten the girl within an inch of her life, and had dumped her still breathing body in the ally way, to die alone in the middle of the night. Seeing as Boston didn't have a Special Victims Unit, the investigation had been left to homicide. Wanting this to be wrapped up soon before the masses had a chance to panic, Cavanaugh had assigned Frost, Korsak, and now Rizzoli, to the case. Just being told about the crime scene made Jane's blood boil. By the time she had been brought up to speed with what had been found at the scene and the results of the autopsy, she felt ready to rip this bastard's throat out with her bare hands.

 

The poor girl was working two jobs to support her younger twin brothers while taking online classes to get her GED. She had been missing for three days before her body was found. Her father was absent since birth, and her mother, Samantha, had committed suicide two years ago. Feeling sharp pain in her fingertips, Jane had to remind herself to take deep breaths and relax her hands from the death grip they held on the edge of her desk.

 

At this point, Korsak had just started to question the orphaned brothers, and Frost was still going through the victim’s laptop in the tech room. Maura was finishing up on some possible DNA found on Jennifer's body, but the DNA wouldn't be ready until tomorrow at the soonest. Jane had no doubt that they were going to catch the bastard. They were going to get him soon, but in the meantime, Jane was going to do what she did best; work through the evidence, connect the dots, find leads, and make sure the charges stuck.

 

She started looking at what they already knew at that point. The boys were being fostered by their friendly neighbors. While they had little money for themselves, they had taken in the three children and gave them a roof over their heads. The neighbors couldn't think of anyone who would hurt Jennifer. She was a sweet and hardworking girl, who had put her brothers above everything else in the world. She didn't have time for friendships after she had dropped out of school and spent all of her time working to help support everyone. Since she hardly had time for friends, she certainly didn't have time for enemies. The neighbors had known Samantha before she had died, and were actually rather close with her. Samantha was never married and never seemed to have company over. They had described her as while being a woman who loved her children more than anything, but was obviously very unhappy and was always stressing over something. Samantha would always appreciate their concern, but would refuse to talk about what was bothering her. There were some topics that were just off limits with the woman.

 

Jane felt as if there was something more that was there, and was frustrated that she wasn't allowed back on the field for another two weeks. She wanted nothing more than to interview the neighbors, or the boys, or to investigate the crime scene in person, but her doctor and Cavanaugh were very clear on the matter. No field work for another two weeks.

 

 

Something told her that Samantha's suicide and Jennifer's death were somehow related. She pulled out her phone and typed out a quick message to Korsak and Frost.

 

_Frost, see if you can find anything on that laptop regarding our vic's mother or anything that might point us towards a guy she could have been involved with._

_Korsak, press the boys for any information they have on their father. Anything their mom or sister might have said before they died. I want to know who this guy is._

 

She sent the texts off to the group chat, hoping there was something to be found. DNA pointing to the murderer can go a long way in court, but without motive, method, or being able to place him at the scene, the case wouldn't get the "guilty beyond a reasonable doubt" verdict they were looking for.

 

She had focused her own investigation into the mother’s background. After reading the results of her search, the dots seemingly began connecting themselves. As Jane pulled her phone out to report her findings to the others, she had received simultaneous texts from Korsak and Frost, saying they had something as well. All three met up in the tech room, and fifteen minutes later, they would have a warrant for an arrest.

 

Anton Slecker was the name that had popped up when Jane had searched for any legal action Samantha had taken in the past. Samantha had filed for a restraining order against Anton fifteen years after Jennifer's birth. The file had revealed to them that Anton and Samantha had a short but fiery romance about twenty years ago. Unfortunately, Anton had taken up cocaine and things had gone downhill. After being picked up for possession several times and all of their money being spent on his bail and failed rehab trips, Samantha had finally had enough and left him. Anton apparently wasn't ready to let her go and had confronted Samantha. The end result was being arrested for breaking and entering, battery, and rape. He was charged, convicted as a felon, and served fifteen years in Prison.

 

Samantha was granted her restraining order after one visit to Slecker a week before he was released. She had gone to see him to tell him to stay away from her. Through the conversation, she had revealed that he had gotten her pregnant. Knowing he had a daughter had set the man off. She had used the recording from the visitation, of him yelling threats and thrashing against the guards removing him, to prove that he was a danger to her and her daughter, and her request for a restraining order was granted.

 

Slecker tried every loophole in the system to gain rights to see his daughter. The legal battle was seemingly endless. Slecker had gone on to become the "model citizen" as time went by and had used it to his advantage. Ruling after ruling, Slecker was denied parental rights, but as soon as the ruling was given, he would only fight harder to see his child. Somehow, he was able to convince Samantha to revoke the restraining order and all had seemed well for a while, until Samantha became pregnant once more, and the restraining order was put back into place. Jane connected the dots from there. After seeing pictures of the younger brothers, it was obvious they shared the same parentage as Jennifer. As of four years ago when the restraining order was put back into place, Slecker seemed to have fallen off of the face of the earth. There were no more reported incidents of him trying to contact Samantha or her kids. No more criminal charges. Nothing.

 

But just because nothing was reported, didn't mean that nothing happened. Korsak was able to find out from the boys that their mother had frequently told them that their father was a bad man, and they were not to go near anyone who said they were their father. Korsak was able to get them to tell him how their mom had acted anytime their dad was brought up. They had said she would get really upset and would stay up really late looking out of her window. After being told similar stories it was clear that Slecker was not abiding by the restraining order and seemed to have been threatening Samantha and her family.

 

Jane was lucky that Maura had done the autopsy on Samantha after her death. Had anyone else done the autopsy, Jane would demand that Maura go over the info to double check it to see if there was any foul play involved. The doctor however, had ruled it as a legitimate suicide. It appeared as if Samantha just couldn't stand living in fear for her life and the lives of her children anymore.

 

After sifting through every bit of information on Jennifer's laptop, Frost was able to find a string of private messages between her and a "Sleckenator4786," who was posing as a twenty-four year old single man, spanning over the last few months. The name wasn't very creative seeing as the four numbers were the last digits of Anton's inmate number. They had backtracked the IP and confirmed that it belonged to Slecker for the sake of evidence and covering all bases. As an added bonus, they were able to find his current address, which was within five miles of where Jennifer's body had been dumped. How about that.

 

Jane was already entertaining ideas for her "interrogation" of Anton, but after reading the messages, she saw nothing but red and the bastards bloody corpse at her feet. It was all they needed to tie the noose around his neck. The conversations had started innocently enough. An introduction, pleasantries, brief chats about their day, all seemingly innocent, as if he was simply trying to get to know his daughter without revealing who he really was. Then Slecker's questions started to get a little more personal. Questions about family. Where she was living. Where she worked. When she worked. What she did after work. How she got around. Requests for pictures of her and her brothers. Then just pictures of her. Then comments on how she looked. Compliments on how she looks much older than nineteen. Frost had become pale while Korsak's face had turned purple in fury. Jane simply stood there. Every ounce of self-control was being taxed to prevent the detective from drawing her gun and emptying her clip into the projected scene in front of her.

 

The sick bastard had written out a sex fantasy with his own daughter, and had after words given his address and invited her to meet him at his place. The last message sent was from Jennifer, agreeing to be there in an hour. That message was dated the same day she was believed to have gone missing.

 

Every muscle was strung so tight, Jane was afraid she might shatter the keys on the keyboard as she very carefully typed out a request for the arrest warrant. She listed the evidence they had gathered and sent it off to the judge, marked with a high priority marker. They got their approval minutes later. She wasn't supposed to go with them to pick up Slecker, but in all honesty? No one cared.

 

Of course he ran. Jane was elated. Her blood was pumping with adrenalin as she chased him through the alley ways that surrounded his shit-hole apartment. Slecker was not a large man, Jane had about half a foot on him. But he was fast and had a head start. Turn after turn, she chased after. She never paused after he went out of sight, never second guessed where he had gone. She could smell him and his fear and it made her run faster. Frost had gone a different way, seeing that they alleys were too narrow for him to be effective as back up trying to catch up with Jane, so he had hoped he would be able to cut them off by taking a different route.

 

Finally, Jane had caught up to him. As she rounded the corner panting, she saw him trying to scale an eight foot high chain-link fence but just couldn't get a foot hold halfway up. What happened next, the detective could only explain as pure bloodlust. She had dived forward and grabbed Slecker's leg, ripping him to the ground. His head banged forward as he went down, dragging on the fence and leaving a red smear. It egged her on.

 

Instead of slapping the cuffs on him and calling it done then and there, she heaved him to his feet by his collar so she could look into his eyes. Jane could see that the rough interwoven metal had caught on his mouth and nose and nearly detached his nostrils and lips from his face. She saw nothing but fear and cowardice. Through the blood, the detective could smell the harsh stench of ammonia. She made him wet himself. Her next actions were fueled by nothing but hate. She had power over this man, this coward of a man. No, no longer was he a man, this _thing,_ that had destroyed everything it touched, now reduced to nothing but a piss soaked pile of quivering filth.

 

Snarling, Jane brought a fist back as far as it would go, and let it snap forward faster than Slecker could even flinch, connecting perfectly with the bridge of his nose. The blow had sent the back of his head smashing into the brick wall behind him in a small explosion of spit and blood that erupted from the now flattened protrusion on his face. Jane had stepped back slightly and allowed him to struggle back up to his feet and face her. Knowing his only hope for freedom was to get past the detective, he had dived towards her. Jane had allowed herself to be knocked to the ground and was struck across the cheek with an elbow. She didn't even feel it. Grabbing handfuls of his shirt and ignoring the uncomfortable stretching of her healing shoulder, she was able to flip them over so that she sat upon his chest, both his arms effectively pinned with her knees.

 

One punch after another rained down, shattering countless bones in Slecker's face. Jane's knuckles had split open long ago, her shoulder was now screaming at her to stop, but she ignored it. It was small and insignificant compared to the increasing joy and satisfaction she received from delivering each blow. From the small splatter of blood that specked her clothes with every strike.

 

The sound of running and shouting barely registered until she felt hands pulling her away from Slecker's body. Everything was blurry and red. Whoever had a hold on her was barely able to manage to keep her from tearing from their grasp and flying back to the bastard whimpering on the floor. More hands grabbed at her flailing arms and another pair secured around her waist, lifting her slightly so she would be off balance. Slowly she was pulled away back and taken back towards the street. She only fought them harder, yelling at the top of her lungs until her voice was raw. If you were to ask any of the officers who were restraining her or the ones who were looking on, they would have said Rizzoli was snarling and roaring as if she were possessed. They would have sworn they saw fangs and glowing eyes.

 

Jane was still not letting up. She could still smell his fear. Slecker was still alive and she was far from done with him. Her body felt as if it was on fire with pure rage. Her mouth hurt when she suddenly felt something sharp poking at her lower lip as she snarled at those who were restraining her. Red and white flashing lights blared in her peripherals, but it did nothing to distract her from her rage. The uncomfortable ache in her gums and the poking at her lip had faded as she felt something else prick at her neck. Her heart slowed down, her muscles loosened, she stopped fighting. As she was brought backwards onto what she assumed to have been a gurney and loaded into the waiting ambulance, realization had washed over her like a bucket of ice water before she closed her eyes and drifted away.

 

_God, what have I done?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone questioning about the last two chapter titles, I'll admit they're just song titles that get stuck in my head as I go over these.


	7. Animal I Have Become

Cavanaugh was ready to have Jane's badge after the stunt she had pulled. While Jane was still in the hospital room, sleeping off the sedative and getting her hands bandaged, Cavanaugh had pulled each member of her team into a separate room. Frost had insisted that while, yes, Jane went overboard, it was Slecker, who had since confessed to the murder, who had her pinned first, and was a threat to her life at the time. He reasoned that Jane had to have been running off adrenaline and didn't realize when Slecker had stopped fighting back.

 

Maura had added that Jane could have been projecting her feelings of rage as a form of post-traumatic stress resulting from the wolf attack. That being pinned down in such a high stress situation could have very well thrown the Detective into a temporary delirious fit of rage, triggered by the need to fight back. Reasons and excuses were shot back and forth for some time before Cavanaugh finally spoke.

 

"I can't have my detectives going around beating our suspects nearly to death! If Rizzoli is so unstable, how can I expect her to keep her cool with the next case? What would you have me do, Doctor?" Cavanaugh implored. The anger had since left his face. Now, he simply looked tired.

~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jane's vision came back blurry and spinning. It wasn't long until the realization set in that she was yet again, in another hospital room.

 

"I gotta stop waking up like this."

 

"You mean in a hospital bed and covered in bandages? I agree." Still fighting off the remains of the sedative, Jane rolled her head to her right where Maura was sitting.

 

"What did I do this time?" She had meant it sarcastically, but the way Maura's face had scrunched up told her there was something she was forgetting. Her hands twinged when she pushed herself up into a sitting position. With the pain from her hands, the memories had come rushing back. "Oh God…" What she did. What she felt. How could something like this happen? When Maura had tried to reach for her hand, Jane pulled it away to cover her face.

 

"It's perfectly understandable, Jane." Maura had murmured. The brunette's response was to stare back incredulously.

 

"How can you possibly say that? Do you even… Do you even know what I did?" Maura placed a comforting hand on the Detective's arm.

 

"Jane, listen. I know it's been hard. You've been feeling like you're not yourself," Maura gave her arm a squeeze and looked imploringly at her friend. "And I know you try to put up a tough front for everyone, making it seem like what happened with the wolf," another quick squeeze to the arm. "Doesn't bother you. But it's okay if you're scared. It's okay to ask for help."

 

What was Maura saying? Every word that just came out of her mouth sounded scripted and rehearsed. Maura was putting on an act, but surely it wasn't for Jane. Maura knows that Jane can see right through her. Who was the act for? Maura was still looking at Jane with wide insistent eyes. Was someone listening to their conversation? Jane looked over towards the open door to the hospital room then back at Maura. The blonde gave a quick nod. So someone _is_ listening.

 

"You don't have to pretend to be okay, even when you're not. A near death experience comes with a lot of emotional baggage. Keeping it pent up can result in violent outbursts." Maura tilted her head forwards, urging Jane to speak.

 

She's trying to convince someone that what happened was unintentional. It had to have been Cavanaugh on the other side of that doorway. Who else would need to listen in to hear what she had to say in confidence? She had to make a choice and she had to make it now. Tell the truth, say she wanted to kill that bastard, and enjoyed every second of beating the shit out of him, and lose her job? Or go along with Maura's ruse and write it off on some psychological bull shit, and not have to give up her gun and badge? She didn't even know what one was the right answer. Maybe she was fucked up in the head.

 

"I don't know what happened, Maur." The Doctor's face searched her eyes, waiting for her to continue. "One second, I've got him in my sights, the next…" The grip on her arm tightens. What she says next could determine the rest of her life. "I don't know, something went wrong. I pulled him off of the fence, I picked him back up, then,"  _I looked at his face. I saw fear. I **smelled** his fear. I liked it. I wanted more. He pissed himself, he was so afraid and I wanted to laugh. _ "He's on top of me, and I just see red." Maura's whole body relaxes as Jane glosses over the incriminating details.

 

"I'm just, so tired, you know? I'm tired of shit happening to me. Like the world has to take every opportunity to take me down a peg. To remind me that I'm human."  _Or that I'm not_. She thinks the last part to herself. Is she even human anymore? After everything that has happened to her? Everything she has faced everything she has survived? She's hunted people down like dogs. She’s been shot, beaten, ambushed, and held hostage. She has killed people. Surely that makes her something different at this point. Tears are threatening to overflow as she realizes the truth of her own words. Is it really too much to ask to be left alone, to just live her life without murderers forcing her into their fantasies and pulling her into their little games? Apparently not, now that Mother Nature was sending wolves after her too.

 

She avoids looking at Maura, and busies herself with picking at the edges of her bandages. "But hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?"

 

The blonde gives a small chuckle. "If that's true, than you must be Wonder Woman by now."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

" _Leave of absence, date of return to be determined upon the approval of a psychiatric professional."_

 

Jane scowled at the sheet of paper as she signed the line at the bottom, signifying her understanding. It was better than losing her job, but now she has to go out and not only convince some shrink that she's not crazy, but also that she won't lose it again and beat the shit out of another suspect.

 

"Don't put this off Rizzoli, I can only put you on leave for so long." Cavanaugh called after her as she left his office and headed out towards the parking lot. She felt the eyes of everyone in the department on her as she left, but refused to give them the satisfaction of skulking out with her tail between her legs. She marched out, head held high, not meeting any of their gazes.

 

The detective had turned down the many offers from Korsak, Frost, and Frankie to have a drink at The Robber. She politely declined when Maura asked to just hang out, come over, or even talk. She sternly forbade her mother to even set foot near the apartment complex. Not trusting her or even Maura to abide by her wishes, she had gotten the locks changed, rendering the "emergency key" useless to the both of them. She even sent Jo to stay with a caretaker for a while, knowing she wouldn't be in any shape to take proper care of her until she figured her shit out. Over the time frame of three days, Jane had effectively shut herself off from everyone around her, telling everyone she just needed time to think on her own.

 

It wasn't going well. She wasn't sleeping for more than four hours at a time, and would frequently find herself pacing, unable to sit still. Sometimes she would venture outside for a quick jog, but she never went far, in fear of running into someone she knew and having to explain what she's been up to the past few days. She had avoided the gym, knowing that it would only be a matter of time before Maura would show up and scold her for exerting herself when her doctor still wanted her to avoid strenuous activity.

 

Mostly, her time was spent holed up in her apartment with the TV on, without really even watching it. She was still trying to figure out what had happened with Slecker. The anger she had felt was nothing new, but she was always able to keep it under control. The knowledge that justice was being served and their perp was going to jail for the rest of their life was usually enough to temper her rage, so what changed? No matter how hard she thought, or tried to work through it, the answer just wasn't coming through. She had gone over step by step everything that had happened starting with the investigation to when she woke up in the hospital. The only thing that had accomplished was to get her just as mad as that day in the alley.

 

She had begun pacing through her living room about thirty minutes ago in attempt to work off some of her frustration. It wasn't working. None of her methods of stress release were working. Maura had taken her punching bag, and she knew if she had gone running, she wouldn't stop and would just end up some place she shouldn't be in the middle of the night.

 

Why couldn't she just figure this out on her own? Isn't she supposed to know herself better than anyone else? Why should she go talk to some stranger with a fancy piece of paper in hopes of them possibly knowing what was going on in her own mind? When no answers made themselves known, Jane had lashed out in a fit of rage. Grabbing a nearby lamp, she hurled it against the wall with a yell. It didn't help. If anything it just made her angrier. She gripped the edge of her coffee table and threw it across the room before she even thought to do so. Throughout the destruction, Jane's mind had gone gloriously blank. There was only anger and its need for an outlet. Her rampage continued until every piece of furniture in the living room had been upended and flung to the opposite end of the apartment. There was still so much anger, every muscle twitched with it. There was nothing left to throw. The couch was upended, tables knocked over, picture frames shattered, broken glass all over the floor. She wasn’t sure how long she was just standing there for, in the middle of her living room, chest heaving from rage and exertion. There was a pounding at the door that had broken through the red haze.

 

"Jane!? Jane, are you alright in there!?" She recognized the voice as Frankie's as he continued to pound on the door and pull at the handle. She considered not even answering, until a second voice pleaded through the door as well.

 

 

"Jane, please open the door!" The rest of the haze had cleared as Maura's voice accompanied the sound of Frankie trying to kick his way in. She turned and walked towards the door, her bare feet cautiously avoiding broken glass and splintered wood. Frankie must have heard her footsteps through the door between each impact of his boot, as it had suddenly gone silent.

 

"Jane?" He said hesitantly after Jane had unlocked the deadbolt. The door had pulled open several inches, being kept in its place by the flimsy chain lock that had been kept secured.

 

Still panting, Jane had peered through the gap in the door to see the barrel of a handgun pointed at her face.

 

“Jesus shit, Frankie!” The gun quickly lowered to allow Jane to see her pale faced brother exhale a shaky breath, and an equally pale Maura hold a hand to her chest. They were both looking over her shoulder to see the wreckage of her apartment. Her brother’s shoulders sagged as he took several deep breaths.

 

“Janie… Are you alright?”

 

"I'm… I'm fine. I just… tripped over some furniture." Jane flinched as she spoke, knowing the excuse was a lame one, and nowhere near believable. Frankie's face flushed red. Maura's eyes narrowed.

 

" _Excuse_ me _?_  You…  _tripped over_ -"

 

"Bullshit, you tripped over furniture! I don't wake up to Maura pounding on my door, sobbing, because your neighbors called her at three in the fuckin morning, saying that someone was destroying your apartment with you yelling your fucking head off, because you 'TRIPPED OVER’ YOUR GOD DAMN FURNITURE!"

 

"What the hell is going on, Jane!?" Both had demanded answers when Jane had none. The state of her apartment was proof enough of that.

 

In response, the brunette had slammed the door shut as hard as she could and removed the chain keeping it shut. Before opening the door to leave, she had grabbed her keys off of the hook on the wall. Frankie had been about ready to start pounding on her door again before it swung open once more and Jane had stepped out into the hall.

 

Maura had reached out and grabbed Jane by the arm when the detective had gone to shrug past them. To Jane's credit, she had resisted the urge to throw the doctor back and take off running. Instead she froze where she was, and turned her furious gaze towards her friend in warning. Maura didn't even flinch.

 

"No more running, Jane. No more hiding. We are talking about this, whether you like it or not."

 

"I'm not doing this here." Jane had practically growled. It had startled Maura to be on the receiving end of Jane's rage, but she hid it well.

 

"That's why we will be going back to my house, seeing as you have destroyed yours." Maura met Jane's icy glare with her own, staring her down. Miraculously, Jane lowered her eyes and nodded, allowing Maura to lead, and Frankie to fall into step behind her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jane had ridden in silence in the back seat since leaving her apartment, wanting to sit as far away from any person as she could. Even Maura. Frankie followed behind them, and pulled up to Maura’s driveway. The blonde insisted she had it from here and suggested he go home.

 

She wanted be able to talk to Jane without interruption. Looking in the rearview mirror, Maura observed her friend staring out the window in silence. It had only been three days, but Jane looked… different. She was still getting used to Jane's new musculature that had added thicker, more defined lines along her neck and shoulders, but it was something in her eyes that she had seen back at the apartment that gave Maura pause. While it could have just been the dark bruise like circles that were under her eyes, the blonde could have sworn that there was something she just couldn't place.

 

After Frankie had left, Maura had gotten out of her car and proceeded to the front door. She got half way up the drive way before she had heard Jane open and close the car door as well. Confident that the detective would follow, Maura continued inside and did not turn around until she was in the kitchen. She had only flipped on a few lamps on her way inside, the lighting remaining low and dim. Jane walked past Maura to stand in the dining room, still barefoot with her head down, black curls acting as a curtain hiding her face. Taking a deep breath, Maura began.

 

"Jane, please, tell me what is going on." Jane remained silent. "Talk to me! You're concerning everyone with your behavior, and you're scaring me! You lock yourself away, refuse to see or even talk to  _anyone,_ and then you go off on a rampage in your own home?!"

 

Still, Jane remained silent. Maura had lost her patience, and slammed a hand down on the counter, demanding some form of response from the detective.

 

" _Damn it, Jane! TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!"_

 

Jane suddenly snapped. Her entire body visibly clenched as she whipped her head up. Maura staggered back a step at the sheer rage etched into every inch of her friends face as she advanced until she was on the opposite side of the counter from the blonde and leaned over.

 

"Do you really think I know what's happening to me, Maura!? Do you!?" She flinched as Jane repeated her actions from before and slammed both hands down on the granite counter top, only this time they shuttered beneath the Jane's fists. For a split second, she believed the solid slab of rock would shatter underneath the force.

 

Through her anger, part of Jane must have seen that she had scared Maura. Quickly, she turned away so she wouldn't see those fearful eyes directed towards her. The brunette had crossed her arms over her stomach and walked towards the glass doors that lead into the back yard. Keeping her back facing the Doctor, Jane had continued.

 

"What do you think I have been doing for the last three days, huh?!" The tremor in her voice betrayed the fear the detective had been hiding beneath her rage. Maura knew she had to proceed with care. Should she startle Jane, it would only end up with her shutting down and running. " _Did you think that I've just been **sitting on my ass** , drinking **beer** every day!?_ " Maura had cautiously stepped around the counter, attempting to get closer.

 

Jane was only getting more and more worked up. She threw her hands out to her sides as she looked up to the full moon in the sky, "I wish I had some answers for you Maura, I really do!" Jane was now openly sobbing, yet she still refused to turn around. "I don't know what to tell you! I'm just so  _angry_ all of the time, and when I try to figure out why I’m so mad, I can't and it just makes me  _angrier_!" Maura had taken a few more steps, now close enough to reach out to her. Still, Jane continued, although in a softer tone.

 

"I keep thinking that it could be like you said, and I'm just bottling up everything since that whole wolf thing, but it's not! I don't _know_ what it is and I just-" Maura had started to reach out her hand to place it on her friend's shoulder, but Jane's abrupt stop in her tirade froze her in place. At that moment, a howl could be heard in the night. Jane had started shaking. Maura had taken the last step so she stood behind Jane, and gently gripped Jane's arm and good shoulder, intending to pull her away from the window. She wouldn't budge. Another howl, louder than before. It sounded closer. Jane had started to… growl?

 

Not understanding why Jane was acting this way, she attempted this time to turn Jane around to face her. Still, she wouldn't budge. Jane's growling became louder and deeper. It was physically impossible for a human woman to make such a loud definitive growling noise. Human vocal chords were not designed to make such a constant noise without causing pain or lasting damage. Maura released Jane, and instead stepped around her so she could read her expression. She fell back several steps at what she saw.

 

Jane's teeth were bared, elongated and pointed. Her lips were pulled back into a ferocious snarl. As she watched narrowed brown eyes shift into a bright glowing yellow, Maura finally realized what it was in those eyes that had seemed so out of place. Pure, animalistic bloodlust. Maura could only watch in shock, her logical mind unable to comprehend the unfolding of events.

 

A third howl had pierced through the night, only this time, it sounded like it was just beyond the trees lining the back yard. Glass exploded everywhere. Jane was gone and standing out in the yard, snarling and snapping towards the trees, was a massive black wolf. Maura could only stare at the ferocious beast. Its fur was almost iridescent in the light of the moon, gleaming with each shuddering breath. There was a slight whimper within each breath the wolf had taken, signifying it was in pain. Maura searched to find the source of its grief. When glanced to the ground and saw small pieces of metal gleaming red at the base of the wolf's right foreleg, she realized; Jane's shoulder had to be reconstructed with metal plates and screws, crafted to specifically fit her skeletal frame. It surely would not fit the frame of a giant wolf.

 

Still frozen in place near the shattered remains of the door, Maura's attention was quickly brought to the tree line when an equally large gray wolf had stepped from out of the shadows. She saw a bare patch of skin that stretched over one of its eyes that seemed to be permanently squeezed shut. She startled with realization that it was the same wolf from before, in the woods. The one that had attacked Jane. Everything returned to an almost frightening stillness. The gray wolf remained stoic on the edge of the trees, looking at the snarling black wolf with an air of almost… smugness. It wasn't until the gray wolf shifted its gaze to where Maura was standing, that the scene once again exploded into sound and movement.

 

With a bone chilling roar, the black wolf had lunged to the one eyed beast. Both had tumbled into the yard, snarling and snapping at one another. Frightening teeth had flashed and disappeared, only to flash again with each lunge. Gray and black fur was torn to and fro. Pained yelps and angry snarls filled the air. The movement finally slowed when Maura registered that the gray wolf had managed to pin the black one upon its back. It had opened its mouth to show its terrifying teeth and reared its head back. She could see red had smeared over the gray wolfs muzzle and chest, but few spots elsewhere upon its massive form. The black one however, Maura could see its iridescent fur gleam red at every angle. Its blood had begun to pool in the grass. It was struggling to get out from beneath its opponent, fear in its eyes she had seen only once before.

 

Maura's mind had flashed in that instant **" _Let her go!”_** The memory jolting from her frozen state, the blonde had reached for the broken slab of wood from the destroyed door frame. Running up to the two beasts in her yard, Maura had swung the slab with every ounce of strength that she had, successfully hitting the gray wolf in the back of the head. After delivering her blow, she had quickly stepped back as the black wolf had taken the opening she had given it. After being knocked off balance, the pinned wolf was able to twist around until it effectively bit the gray wolfs left foreleg hard enough for Maura to hear bone crunch. Immediately after breaking the bone, the black wolf had lunged up and secured its mouth around the underside of its opponent's neck, before ripping the mouth full of skin and fur from its flesh.

The gray wolf had managed to limp away from the now barely standing black one. Bleeding heavily from its wounds, the beast looked back only once to glare at Maura, sending a shiver down her spine. The black wolf had given a low snarl, and the creature had looked back to it briefly before limping back off into the trees.

 

Several minutes pass of Maura standing in her yard, looking at the shuddering black wolf that seemed on the edge of collapsing. Despite how exhausted it seemed and the level of pain it must have been in, it remained standing vigil, assuring that the gray wolf would not return.

 

_Jane. Could it actually be…?_

 

"Jane?" Maura whispered. The wolf's ears twitched a bit.

 

"Jane?" She said louder this time. The wolf seemed to have huffed towards the trees before slowly turning to face Maura. What she saw in those yellow eyes proved to her of what her mind said was not possible. In those eyes she saw fear, confusion, pain, and a silent pleading.

 

Maura held out her hands towards the beast as she took another slow step forward. The wolf had gone to step forward as well, but stopped as it had given a long whine and collapsed to the ground. Maura had rushed to the heap of black fur waving her hands just above the wolf's body, not sure what to do. The wolf's mouth was hanging open with its teeth coated in red and tongue splayed out on the grass. It was panting in short shallow breaths, soft whimpers with each exhale. It was in so much pain.

 

 ** _Jane,_** _was in pain_  she corrected.  _This wolf… it’s Jane._

 

The blonde had gently placed a hand on Jane's neck beneath her ear, and the other on the top of her muzzle. She couldn't explain it, so she had stopped trying. The Doctor could see some of the smaller scratches along Jane's face. They were already netting themselves together. Not knowing what else she could do, she softly stroked the soft fur and murmured reassurances to her friend. Jane's eyes had eventually closed and drifted off to sleep.


	8. Invisible Touch

A taste. It was only a small taste of what he wanted. He had known she was changed, and that just made it all the more fun. He had followed her for a while. Got to see her frustration and confusion. When she thought no one was watching, he was able to get a delectable taste of her fear.

 

Truly, it was being denied his heart's desire that made him want it even more. It was hunts like these that he lived for. He had found a worthy opponent in the detective, but she had made the vital mistake of showing where her affections lie. He may have been bested this night, but he would return. In the meantime, he licked his wounds and contemplated what he would take from her next.  _"You're mine, Jainie, and I'll be damned before I let you forget it."_

_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*_

 

To say that Maura had no idea what was going on, was the understatement of the century. She had since stopped trying to explain Jane's transformation or the gray wolf that seemed to have been following her. So she focused on the here and now.

 

Right now, there was a very large wolf unconscious in her back yard, which also happened to be her best friend. Her best friend who had just had shoulder replacement surgery. Said replaced shoulder apparently forced itself out from the wolf/Jane and was now scattered in her yard, as well as the vast majority of her now destroyed back door. The wolf/Jane had also suffered multiple wounds from the gray wolf, but somehow those have managed to knit themselves together, leaving only a few minor lacerations from the more serious wounds. What was step one from here? She had to get Jane inside, but how do you move a massive wolf that's over two hundred pounds by yourself? Even if Jane's cuts were healing on their own, Maura could see there was no possible way that she would be able to stand with how badly her shoulder was mangled. She could see from where she was standing several feet away that the shoulder of the wolf was jutting out at an angle that it was not meant to be at.

 

Deciding she would cross that bridge when she got to it, Maura ran back inside and retrieved the largest quilt she could find in her closet, and brought it back outside to Jane. After laying out the quilt, and bunching up the side closest to Jane's back, she tried to figure out the best way to move her with the least amount of difficulty. She supposed it would be by grabbing her rear legs and flipping her over to her opposite side and onto the quilt. Maura carefully walked around the wolf- “ _Jane, not ‘the wolf’ just… Jane.”_ and checked to see exactly how unconscious it… she. Was.

 

Thankfully, her breaths had returned to a deeper steadier pattern. She considered trying to wake her up, but Maura still wasn't sure how safe that option was. Jane had protected her from the gray wolf, right? And after the other wolf had left, she responded to her name and approached her. She seemed to understand her to a point at least. A feral beast wouldn't have done that. Yet if she were to try and move Jane and jostled an injury… What would her reaction be? Would she react as Jane would, or would she react as an injured wolf would? Maura decided that the best option would be to try to see if she could wake her first. The last thing she needed was for her to wake up while being moved, become startled, and end up injuring herself further. Or to turn on Maura in fear.

 

Gently, Maura reached out to the wolf and stroked its fur along its neck. She quietly cooed and received an ear flick in response. Speaking a little louder, she tried again. "Jane? Can you hear me?" Another ear twitch. "Can you wake up for me, sweetie?" her eyelids started to flutter. "Come on, open your eyes." Slowly, Jane's eyes had opened. Even in the near darkness of her back yard, Jane's eyes had captured the small light coming from the kitchen. Bright yellow eyes locked on Maura and the wolf's breathing stopped. Maura held as still as she could, gauging Jane's reaction.

 

Several seconds go by, and Jane still doesn't move. She lets out a sharp breath, but when she breathed back in, it's short and quickly exhaled again. Maura could see panic begin to grip the wolf. Jane's head began to lift off of the ground before she winced and her head fell back to the grass with a dull thump.

 

"Jane! Jane, I know it's scary, but you have to calm down. We will figure this out later, but you just need to breathe." Jane's eye focused back on Maura's face as she reluctantly slowed her breathing. Maura looked deeply into her friend's huge yellow eye, which was easily the size of her fist, and felt her heart break. Jane was afraid and confused and didn't know what to do any more than Maura did.

 

 _One step at a time_ , the doctor thought to herself.

 

"Okay. Okay, that's good. Now, next we need to get you inside-NO! Don't get up!" Maura had almost flung herself on top of the wolf when Jane and started to shift her weight to stand. Jane had obeyed and remained where she was. Maura took a deep breath before she tried again. "You're too injured to walk on your own. I think I know how I can get you inside. If you roll over to your other side, and onto the quilt, I think… I think I can pull you inside."

 

Jane had managed to lift her head just enough to look behind her and see the quilt Maura was talking about. She huffed, almost as if she were preparing for what was to come, before she started to turn over. Maura helped as much as she could by gently pushing on Jane's side, until finally she was resting on the blanket, only her rear legs still touching the grass.

 

Stepping back Maura looked at the sight in front of her. Jane had managed to settle on her stomach so she could avoid laying on her injured shoulder, her head laying on top of massive paws. She was shaking again. Her breathing was irregular as well, almost like she was trying to fight through her pain.

 

"Oh Jane," Maura sighed. She gathered up one end of the blanket, and knelt down in front of Jane. She held out her hand and held the side of the wolf's head, gently stroking her thumb along her fur. When Jane leaned into Maura's touch, the doctor spoke. "I don't know what's happened, but I'm going to help you the best that I can." Jane whimpered in response. "You're too big for me to pull you in on my own. Do you think you can push off with your back legs at all?"

 

Almost awkwardly, Jane had shifted her back legs out behind her, and had lifted one before bracing it on the ground ready to push off. Maura nodded and prepared to pull.

 

It took a while, but with Maura pulling and Jane pushing, they managed to get just inside of the kitchen around the broken door way. Flipping on the rest of the lights, gathering some towels and a large bowl of hot water, and a pair of medical gloves, Maura was able to inspect Jane closer. She froze for merely a second, adjusting to the sight of a giant wolf in her kitchen before kneeling and setting her supplies down next to Jane's head.

 

Maura focused her attention on the most severe looking of Jane's injuries. Beyond her shoulder being bloody from the bits of metal being forced out of her flesh, the bones appeared to be slightly misshapen. Due to the area being so inflamed and awkwardly shaped, the lacerations have yet to heal. However before she could touch the injury, a deep threatening growl and a sharp snap of teeth near her outstretched hands, nearly sent the doctor to the other side of the room in fear.

 

While she didn't flee to the other side of the room, Maura had startled backwards a few feet, still on the ground. Jane's lips had curled back revealing curved white fangs in a horrific threatening snarl. Her ears were flat against her skull while the fur along her back and shoulders stood on end. Every exhale brought a low raspy growl. Maura slowly brought her legs underneath her, preparing to run if need be.

 

As quickly as Jane's temper had flared, it had dissipated. Her snarl had faded and her fur had settled. Jane's head actually perked up along with her ears for a moment, as if not quite understanding why Maura was suddenly so far away from her. Maura could see the realization dawn over Jane when her ears suddenly drooped and her head fell to rest between her paws. She had let out a long high pitched whine, ashamed.

 

 _She didn't know what she was doing. Any injured wild animal is going to react that way. It's in their instincts._   "It's okay, Jane, I just want to help. Would it be better if I talked to you while I examine you?" Maura had cautiously scooted forward, her hands palm out and non-threatening. Jane's only response was to reach her nose out closer. Almost as if she were reaching for the doctor.

 

"All the bites and lacerations appear to have healed already. Everything else has healed except for your shoulder. I think I know why, and before you say anything, no, I'm not guessing. I'm hypothesizing." Maura had reached her previous spot next to Jane and had reached her hands out to examine the wound. She looked down at Jane's face for any sign of her earlier aggression, but saw only an eye roll.

 

"It’s remarkable, you changing seems to have grown a new scapula, and forced out the metal plates. The bones seemed to have caught on the shoulder replacement and managed to dislocate it pretty badly before the rest of the bone and muscle expelled it from your body. Due to muscle and bone trying to form over it at the same time…” She trailed off as she contemplated Jane’s experience. “It would have caused a significant amount of pain as the metal tore free." Maura had only poked and prodded around the edges of her shoulder before she confirmed that the leg was still dislocated in several places. The doctor's hands fell into her lap before she added in a soft whisper, "and I'm sure fighting for your life didn't help matters."

 

A cold nose nudged her elbow. She looked over and saw Jane with her head turned towards her, concern in her eyes. "Oh don't you give me that look. You're the one who was attacked by a wolf,  _twice_  I might add."

 

Jane had huffed hard enough to blow the doctors hair into disarray. Her tail had thumped happily on the floor when Maura had sputtered to get her hair out of her mouth. "You think you're so funny. Well your shoulder needs to be put back into place before it is able to heal properly." She gave her friend a sad smile when her thumping tail suddenly stopped. “That’s what I thought.”

 

"I'm… I'm not a vet, Jane, but I think I can manage putting your shoulder back into place. Will you… Will you be… Okay with that?" Maura had tried to hide her fear, but when Jane had snapped at her, she couldn't help but be frightened. When she puts the shoulder back into place, it's going to be very painful for Jane. An animal in pain will usually lash out. Maura knew she was going to do it no matter what, but she wanted to do it as safely as possible.

 

Jane had turned her head away from the doctor, nearly hiding underneath her other arm, before becoming totally still. Taking this as her go ahead, Maura reached out and gripped Jane's leg just under her elbow. "This is going to hurt, but I promise it will feel better as soon as it's done, okay?" she received no response. Maura laid her other hand near the shoulder joint and lined up her arm to where she needed the bone to go.

 

"Here we go… One… Two…" With each number spoken, Jane had flinched, hiding her face further under her arm.

 

"Three!" As soon as Maura heard the satisfying pop of the bone slipping back into place, she backed away from Jane as quickly as she could. The same second, Jane had let out a screech that shook the whole house. The wolf had whipped her body into a standing position and hobbled over to the opposite end of the room, backing herself into the corner before trying to make herself as small as possible.

 

Maura watched in silent astonishment as the last of Jane's lacerations healed and the swelling around her shoulder began to go down. Maura remained where she was standing however. While Jane was not snarling at her, her ears were back to being flat on her head and her hackles raised. She could see the look in Jane's eyes were those of an unpredictable wild animal. So she waited. She probably stood there in her kitchen never breaking eye contact, for more than thirty minutes, before Jane appeared to have come back to herself. Recognition flashed in her eyes as she slowly drifted forward.

 

Still, Maura didn't move.

 

Jane cautiously padded forward. Maura was speechless as she watched. The wolf was just so… beautiful. Thick black fur shifted and shimmered in the lamp light with every step. Every movement was smooth and purposeful. Jane had crossed the kitchen in only four steps, but in those steps Maura had seen the beauty and grace that perfectly reflected the detective.


	9. Don't Ask Me How

She was naked. She was naked and she was in Maura's guest room. It wasn't the best of combinations considering that what had woke her was a loud thump and a male voice she didn't recognize muttering from the other room. Adrenaline kicking in, Jane threw off the covers and put on a pair of shorts and an old gray tee shirt that she had kept in the dresser. Leaning against the door frame, she slowly opened the door and glanced around the corner. She couldn't exactly recall what had happened last night, let alone what would have led up to her being completely nude, but she had to put that in the back of her mind for the time being. Jane couldn't see anyone in the hallway or by the front door, but she was quickly alerted to where the possible intruder was when the same loud thump came from near the kitchen. She continued down the hall as silently as she could and glanced around the corner.

 

She froze in her spot when she saw that the majority of the wall where the back door used to be was gone. Three large men, whom she figured were contractors, were hefting up large wooden boards and sheets of drywall to fill the gap, and sorting through wires that stuck out from the walls. She recognized Maura standing somewhat in the middle of the room with her back to her, watching the contractors work. Her posture was clearly one meant to make her look relaxed to those who might not know her very well. Jane knew better. The fact that the doctor had both arms crossed over her front with her back stiff and shoulders tensed, showed Jane that she was quite anxious. Her gaze wandered to the whole in the wall where she could see areas of the once pristine lawn on the other side. Long strips of grass were unearthed and deep trenches of dirt were left in their wake. The tracks circled and slashed across the entire lawn. Jane's vision went white for a fraction of a second.

 

 _Claws sinking into the ground. Ripping grass from its roots. Tearing across the ruined yard. So much pain. Doesn't matter. It looked at her. Kill it. Kill him. It hurts. Red blood white teeth. That smell_.

 

Her senses were bombarded with the memories. The smell of blood soaked fur and damp earth filled her nostrils as the memory of the sticky taste of copper coated her tongue. She felt a hard surface collide with her back and flinched at a phantom pain along her back and arm. There was just no way it was real.

 

Her head wouldn't stop spinning and she was seeing two of everything. Her thoughts were racing too fast for her to even track. Breaths were coming and going too quickly. Air filled her lungs, but emptied before it could do any good.  _Not enough air, have to breathe more, I can't breathe why can't I breathe?_  She brought her hand up to her chest and clawed at the shirt that was suddenly too tight. All she could hear were her own gasps for breath. There were hands on her shoulders, gently leading her to sit on the floor. Maura said something over her shoulder, but Jane couldn’t quite make it out.

 

 "-eave, -st come back- ater," followed by a door opening and closing. Something sounded like her name, but it was muffled, like she was hearing it from underwater.  _My chest hurts, why does it hurt, I can't breathe, this can't be real!_  Black spots began to speckle the edges of her vision. The panting was so loud, her ears started to ring. Maura had grabbed Jane's other hand and placed the scarred palm just underneath her collarbone. The action was enough to focus the detective's attention on Maura's words.

 

"-eathe with me Jane. Slow down, you need to match my breaths. It's just me, listen closely. Breathe in. Breathe out. In. Out." She forced herself to stop thinking, to focus only on the doctor's voice. The feel of Maura breathing, her warm skin against her palm, her steady heartbeat. Gradually Jane was able to slow down until she could feel her breathing starting to match Maura's. "There, you're okay. It's going to be okay." Jane looked up at Maura as the black spots faded from her vision. The doctor's eyes were full of concern and compassion, eyebrows pulled up in a silent question.

 

Jane knew exactly what her friend saw. Reddened eyes wide in fear with damp tear tracks down her cheeks. Her hair wouldn't have made her look any better. She was probably the look of pure insanity. At this point she felt that had to be the case. Maura still held Jane's hand in hers and moved to help her stand. Once on her feet, the detective was pulled down into a tight hug, her head nestled in the crook of Maura's neck. Tears rolled down her cheeks as her voice cracked.

 

"Oh God, it really happened. It actually happened didn't it?" Maura only held her tighter as sobs began to wrack her frame. "W-what am I, Maura? How can t-this be happening? What am I supposed to do? W-what if it happens again?" Jane clings to Maura, praying for an answer to a question that she knows is impossible. The hands rubbing her back and holding the back of her head gently release and slide down the detectives shoulders to hold her at arm's length.

 

"This is completely new territory Jane, but I’ve been thinking of where we can start." Jane tried to not let herself get too hopeful but this was the one thing she could hold onto with any kind of hope. "It's still early, and for the next few hours, the lab down at the precinct should be empty. No one is scheduled to work until noon at the soonest. If I can draw some blood, take a look at it, do a few tests… It won't give us any hard answers, but it's… well it's something. At the very least, we will be able to put together the right questions and go from there."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Jane is perched at her usual spot in the lab, sitting on the edge of the table next to the equipment the Doctor has laid out. She was trying to appear nonchalant, leaning forward and looking around the lab aimlessly, but her impatience showed by the constant kicking of her legs. After gathering what she needed, Maura wordlessly stood in front of the detective and waited for brown eyes to meet hers. The kicking stopped as the brunette let out a deep sigh when the doctor held out her hands. Jane held her left arm out, palm up, for Maura to gently grip. After softly rubbing the pad of her gloved thumb over the thick vein in the crease of her arm, she swabbed it with rubbing alcohol and then an iodine swab before uncapping the needle.

 

Maura couldn't help the small grin that escaped when Jane had scowled and looked anywhere but at the needle. Jane usually didn't have a problem with needles, unless of course, they were going into her. Making it quick and painless, Maura poked the vein and drew a small vial of blood.

 

They stood in silence, Maura running her fingers along Jane's forearm while the other hand removed the needle and replaced it with a cotton ball. A few minutes go by, while Maura kept pressure on the cotton ball until she was sure that it had clotted.

 

"How is this happening, Maura?" The doctor had forced herself to think about that question a lot, from when wolf-Jane appeared in her yard the night before to now.

 

_Jane had crossed the kitchen in only four steps, but in those steps Maura had seen the beauty and grace that perfectly reflected the detective. She was able to fully take stock of Jane's new form. Standing at full height, the wolf was approximately four and a half feet tall, making her head come almost up to Maura's shoulder. Her chest, neck, and upper legs were thick with corded muscles that became more slender and wiry along the rest of her torso and lower legs. Even as a wolf, Jane still appeared to be lanky._

 

_Still, she didn't move. Jane had stopped just in front of her._

_“How is this happening?” No answer. She looked into tired yellow eyes and asked herself again._

_“How is this happening?” Nothing. Jane had turned and walked down the hallway._

_“How is this happening?” It wasn't until she heard something clicking against metal that she snapped out of her reverie. Jane's large black figure poked out from around the corner as she looked to the blonde. Maura looked back and tilted her head. The wolf made an impatient sound, somewhere between a huff and a growl and flicked her nose towards the end of the hall, before disappearing around the corner again. Maura followed. Jane was sitting on her haunches in front of the guest bedroom. Once she noticed the doctor had joined her next to the door, she had nudged the handle with her nose, then looked up at the corner with a peculiar expression. Figuring that she wanted into the guest room, Maura gripped the knob before immediately letting it go with a disgusted noise. Ah. Jane must have tried to turn the handle with her mouth. Bunching up the bottom of her shirt, she used her now covered hand to open the door and stepped aside to allow the sluggish wolf into the room. She almost protested when Jane had stepped up onto the bed and comforter and plopped down in a heap. But the pleading look she received stuck the complaint in her throat, and she just let out a sigh._

" _Go to sleep Jane. We can figure this out in the morning."_

_“How is this happening?” No answer._

 

No matter how many times she asked, she couldn't bring herself to answer that question. Though at this point she knew that if she didn't start to come up with some answers, someone's sanity, whether it be hers or Jane's, would be in jeopardy.

 

"History has shown us, that myth rarely just comes out of nowhere. There is usually something at its source that people hold as truth, and then form stories that get more and more inaccurate over time." Jane continued to stare at where Maura held the cotton ball to her arm.

 

"So… Some myths… are actually true?"

 

"Not so much true, as they are just exaggerated." Maura thought for a moment for an example that might help the brunette understand.

 

"For example, El Dorado was originally believed to be a city made of pure gold by the Spanish Conquistadors in the sixteenth century. Although the only proof they had of its existence was witnessing the tribe of the Muisca perform a ritual to their afterlife, Xibalba. Where their king was painted in gold flakes and rode on a raft to the middle of what is now known as Lake Guatavuta. They would then cast baskets of gold sculptures in offering into the lake, which they believed to have been the entrance to the spirit world. The Conquistadors believed that surely a people with so much gold at their disposal, who could just throw it into a lake without a second thought, must come from a wealthy city. Over time, it was speculated that it must be a city of pure gold. The lust for gold was so great for the Conquistadors, they captured all of the Muiscaian people and one by one tortured and killed them all in interrogation for the location of their city of gold, effectively wiping them out.

 

"Half of the mountain was dug out in search of the city, though some small veins of gold were found, it was not enough to assuage them. The lake was drained to collect the gold that had been offered in past rituals. El Dorado was never found and became a myth that many people still searched for, believing it to be true. It wasn't until only a few years ago that it was discovered as fact that there never truly was an El Dorado. The Muiscaian people however did have access to a great form of wealth, in the form of a salt water spring. In a land locked area, salt was rare and held great value to the neighboring tribes. The salt was separated from the collected water and traded to tribes across the area for gold, which, as it seemed, was only valued by the Muiscain people as it was needed for their faith."

 

"That's nice and all Maura, but I'm pretty sure this whole… thing isn't just an over active imagination brought on by, what, seeing the same wolf a few times?" Jane was frustrated, but her words didn't have the sting she had intended. She knew Maura was trying to help and couldn't have had found any answers yet, and couldn't muster to throw any heat in her voice.

 

Maura stood in silence a bit longer before removing the cotton ball, satisfied that the prick was no longer bleeding. "It's as far into logically figuring this situation out that I've gotten." Maura turned away from the detective with the vial of her blood in her hands and walked to the opposite table along the wall, where she picked up other bits and pieces of equipment and fiddled away where Jane couldn't quite see what was happening. "It will take an hour or two before the blood results come back with anything substantial, but in the mean time I can pull up some slides and look at comparisons to some control samples versus your sample. Just to see if there are any notable differences."

 

Before Maura could begin to prepare the slides, Jane smelled something peculiar that immediately put her on edge. Familiar, not so much threatening, but not something she should be happy about. A sort of haze covered her mind as instinct took over. This is her turf. A claim has to be made.

 

Maura whipped around at the sound of Jane jumping off of the table and snarling. Not unlike what she did the night before. She was facing the double doors of the lab, positioning herself halfway in front of the doctor and slightly crouched. She could hear hesitant footsteps from the hallway before approaching the door. As the steps get closer, Jane's growling becomes more prevalent. Affording a glance around to the detectives face, Maura is relieved to still see brown eyes.

 

Though when the doors to the lab open, she is tempted to growl as well.

 

"Agent Dean."

 

"Dr. Isles… Jane."

 

In a flash Jane rushed at the agent and grabbed him by his lapels, practically lifting him from the ground as she shoved him back against the doors. Her face inched closer to his, still snarling.

 

“JANE!” Maura could swear she started to see elongated canines and a flash of yellow in her eyes. Maura expected Dean to panic, or to retaliate in some way, but he didn't.

 

He just lifted his hands up in surrender, lifted his head up baring his neck and looked away. Completely submissive. Jane's growling quieted before she let him down and stepped back towards Maura, strangely satisfied.

 

"What are you doing here Gabriel?" Though Jane was somewhat more relaxed, her tone was still tense and accusatory.

 

"Yes Agent Dean, I was wondering that myself." Dean said nothing, but only stared at Jane, his head down. Looking at her as if imploring her to piece it together so he doesn't have to explain.

 

"Well?" Maura was getting nervous. The agent only showed up when it was something involving Jane and…

 

"No. No that's impossible." It seemed that Jane had finished her thought for her. The blonde looked to Dean, searching for some sign that they were wrong. Any second he was going to put his hands up and say "It's not what you think."

 

He didn't.

 

"No. No, I killed that bastard! I saw him die!" Jane stepped closer Dean. Their eyes never left each other.

 

"Nothing is ever as simple as it seems Jane." He remained rooted to his spot, while Jane started to pace.

 

"Bull shit! His heart stopped! Nothing simpler than that! Heart stops equals dead!"

 

"He's different."

 

"The fuck do you mean different?!"

 

"Different like me." Jane stopped in her tracks.

 

"What do you mean…? Different. Like. You?"

 

"Different. Like us."

 

Silence.

 

"I know what you are Jane."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Dun dun dunnnnnnn*


	10. The Middle

Jane couldn't move from her spot. Her mind was buzzing with white noise. It was too much information for her to process.  _Hoyt was still alive? Dean knows what I am? Is Dean a … whatever… too? Hoyt was one too? Hoyt. Hoyt was alive._ The monologue repeated itself over and over before she felt a warm hand slowly rub up the back of her arm. Closing her eyes and taking comfort that the doctor was there, that she wasn't facing this on her own, Jane forced herself to voice the first of what was going to be many questions.

 

"Enlighten me. Exactly what am I?" The detective asked between clenched teeth. Dean took a deep breath before starting.

 

"Consider it a virus like never before. Once you have it, you have it for life, only your body has no chance of building immunity. It has flare ups and recessive periods. Only the flare ups are a rather drastic change in your physical make up. Transferable from saliva or blood of the infected, coming into contact with a large amount of the victim’s blood, with an 87% chance of infection. For lack of a better term, you are,  _we_  are, werewolves." He had said it so matter of factually, Jane could only scoff and continued to stare the agent down, as if waiting for a real answer. Dean had only raised an eyebrow in response. She was given no other explanation. Jane threw up her hands as she turned back to the table to sit on one of the lab stools, while Maura went to stand beside her.

 

"Of course, because what else do you call a person who just randomly changes into a giant wolf?"

 

"No, not randomly." The agent had stepped forward, further into the room, but not much. Jane realized he was intentionally leaving her plenty of room. Gabriel had opted for leaning against the sink next to the door and adopted his usual stance of putting his hands in his pockets of his suit pants and slouching forward. "There are triggers to the change, some are controllable and some are not. As I'm sure you have figured out by now, rage plays a factor." He paused, waiting for a response.

 

The detective had already decided that she wasn't going to grant him the satisfaction of surprising her. He was not going to get to see her desperate. She was not going to do what he expected of her, which was no doubt, to act like a scared little girl who desperately needed his help. She instead, continued to stare with a blank expression. A small part of her was briefly satisfied as he realized this and uncomfortably shifted his feet and cleared his throat.

 

"Ahem, yeah, rage will usually start a transformation, but rarely complete it. It will cause your eyes to change and fangs to grow to start with. Mostly it will stop there, but the change could continue causing darkening of the skin, change in hair color or texture, and a snout might start to form. But rarely does a full change happen just because of anger. The moon cycle actually does play a part in our transformation, though we don't know why. Our scientists haven't found a reason yet. Though the closer you are to a full moon, the more your body will 'want' to change. It's hard to explain really, but if you aren't careful with your temper close to a full moon, you'll end up changing very publicly. If that were to happen, then we get involved and cover it up."

 

"And who is 'we' exactly?" Maura was obviously curious to be in the know on this apparent race of werewolves. More importantly, she wanted to know who these scientists were.

 

"The American government. I'm part of a special task force, though really we're just a small pack that already worked in law enforcement. When higher ups found out that we existed, they sought to organize us. The whole organization is still rather new. Only been official for about five years, but we’ve been under the radar for longer. We're still figuring out formalities, but our main goal for the time being is tracking and cataloging others of our kind, as well as finding and containing those of us who are a danger to humanity."

 

Jane knew he would gladly go on about the virus, his pack, and his job all day. At that moment however, there was one concern that proved more urgent.

 

"How long has Hoyt been one of your 'contained?'" Jane's anger was slowly building as she pieced together what Dean was saying.

 

"… We have been observing him since he was first imprisoned. At that point he was known publicly and was documented within the system. Usually we can sense our own, pick them out by smell mostly. But Hoyt managed to make a kind of herbal pill that masks his scent enough that we couldn’t really tell. We had our suspicions based on his behavior, but we weren't truly aware he was one of us until we had enough cause to… test him." When he was once again met with blank stares, he let out a deep sigh. This obviously wasn't going the way he had planned it. "We could have waited for whatever it was he took to wear off, but time was a factor and we didn’t want to give him any kind of advantage.

 

“We contained him and exposed him to enough… stimuli, which forced him to change. It's not a pleasant experience. For anyone." Dean's discomfort showed when he started rubbing the back of his neck. "Once we knew for sure what he was, we used an experimental drug on him that prevented him from being able to change. That way he could stay in prison without people asking questions."

 

The detective sighed and brought her hands together as if in prayer, to rest her head against. Half of Jane’s mind was freaking the fuck out. Werewolves, Gabriel, The Government, Hoyt, it was almost making her dizzy. She had forced all of it in the back of her mind. She could freak out about it later, she wasn't going to let a sliver of it slip past her mask. There were gaps in his explanations, and she expected answers. She managed to focus and separate herself from the situation. She didn’t allow herself to think about how her life was in danger again. She didn’t think about how her worst nightmare has come to life. She focused on the info she was given. She was in sleuth mode and dissected every scrap of information that came from the agent's mouth. Lifting her head slightly, Jane asked her next question.

 

"So this whole time, Hoyt has been a… werewolf. What about you? Have you been one this entire time, for as long as I've known you?" There was a lot implied in that question. From the first time they met to their on-again-off-again relationship. Dean paused as he considered the question and opted for the easy answer without addressing what was implied.

 

"The reason I was assigned to Hoyt's case, when he had found his first apprentice, was because we believed he had managed to find and recruit another werewolf into his pack. In order to track the, at that time, unknown wolf the FBI sent out my pack to track him down."

 

Jane was still piecing together the true version of the events that had traumatized her past. Matching what Dean had claimed to what she now realized to be the half-truth she had believed, it made sense in theory, but her mind was having difficulty understanding the implications. Yet Maura had questions of her own.

 

"How could Hoyt have a 'pack' if he was in a human prison?"

 

"This is where things get a little complicated. There are laws among us. Not so much written laws, but laws of nature that cannot be broken. One might try to go against them, but they will simply find themselves unable to do it.

 

"You see, when someone changes into a wolf for the first time, something from their humanity influences their standing within our community. It's something you're born into and other wolves sense it from your scent alone. It doesn't differ too much from how actual wolves live in the wild. You have the weaker and very common pack wolves, who I guess you would consider them family friends. They have little to no say in regards to leadership and general pack decisions. There are also Betas and Alphas. The Betas are the go between from Alpha and pack. When paired with each other, a Beta is able to bolster an Alpha's leadership and thus make the pack stronger.

 

"Betas can lead a pack, but are nowhere near as compelling towards pack wolves or other Betas, as an Alpha, whose authority is almost unquestioned among others. Alphas are the strongest both physically and mentally, and could convince any other unaligned pack wolf to join them. They also tend to be brash, confrontational, and refuse to cooperate with wolves that do not submit to them, or are not part of their pack. They are leaders to the rest of the wolves, but are rarer, due to the fact that when one Alpha finds another, they usually fight. If the two Alphas lose themselves to their instincts, which usually happens in a scrap, the fight would be to the death. The laws of our nature make it so we can only kill those of our same rank or one rank lower. For example, only an Alpha can kill an Alpha. Betas can fight Alphas, they can certainly overpower them, but the laws prevent Betas from actually giving a killing blow. Defeated Alphas are usually left for dead. They either die, or become loaners. The same applies to pack wolves and Betas. Pack wolves, however, will not fight Alphas. They will run, submit, or die. Few Alphas are cruel enough to strike down a pack wolf without cause and would only fight a Beta if they were challenged for leadership.

 

"Some Alphas don't handle being a leader very well. It can make them twisted, controlling, and sadistic. Their pack will sometimes abandon them if they are thought to no longer be fit to lead them, and will follow their Beta or until another Alpha can be found. If an Alpha is alone for too long without a pack, they become the lone wolf. The very bottom of the pecking order. Others try to avoid them, due to lone wolves giving off an air of… creepiness. This is what makes Alphas so rare. They are either killed by other challenging Alphas, or become loaners.”

 

Immediately Jane was aware that Dean had finally looped back around to Hoyt. Not that this information wasn't helpful or enlightening, but Jane couldn't help but feel like she was stuck in a biology class. 

 

 _Maura must be eating this stuff up_. Lo and behold, when Jane glanced to her friend, Maura was at full attention.

 

"I’m getting the impression that Hoyt was a lone wolf. If that's the case, then how could he have gotten someone to join his pack if lone wolves are avoided so much?"

 

"Not all lone wolves were Alphas. Some were Betas who broke under leadership in lieu of an Alpha and succumbed to the same corruption. Some are even pack wolves who have just been shunned for other crimes or behavior. The sick and twisted have a tendency to flock to each other. Time and time again, that's what happened with Hoyt. Other lone wolves found out about him and sought him out." There was a pause as Dean waited for the next question. His face betrayed that he knew what it was and dreaded what Jane's response was going to be once he explained. The detective slowly rose from her seat and crossed her arms.

 

"So now that I'm all caught up, Dean, There is one thing that I want to know and your answer had better be a damn good one. Explain to me how that bastard is still alive after I fucking stabbed him in the heart." His explanation came with a grimace and was slow to start.

 

"… He was a test subject. The drug he was given to prevent him from changing was experimental. After Hoyt had developed the cancer, our scientists wanted to research him to see if there was any correlation between the two. There was, and they wanted to continue to test it. Our bodies are very resilient. We can be considered legally dead for a few hours and still be revived. When Hoyt was recovered from the jail, we received the order for resuscitation. He was brought back, drugged, and transported to a facility across the country. He was dead to the world, so we no longer had to be concerned about questions or people asking about where he is or how he's being treated, but-"

 

"No, no! Let me guess!" Jane burst. Her voice lowered, deep and raspy, "Something went wrong. Something always goes wrong.  _ **Why couldn't you just leave him to die!?**_ His cancer was bad enough, he would have at least died from that by now,  _ **why is he still alive?!**_ _"_ Jane had stepped closer and brown eyes were starting to lighten into a dark shade of amber.

 

"There was a traitor.” The agent had sputtered, pulling his hands from his pockets, and held them up defensively. “One of our pack had aligned himself with Hoyt and gave him an injection of the drugs counter measure. This allowed Hoyt to change and escape with the help of his new pack mate. When the change happens, something happens to our bodies that scientists have been unable to replicate in any form outside of those infected. All injuries are repaired, and all illnesses or ailments cease to exist for the time we are changed. Though Hoyt got away, his newest apprentice was left behind. We caught up to him and he has been dealt with. We started tracking Hoyt across the country, but he's a fast and tricky bastard who has been playing this game decades longer than I have. We lost his trail in northern Ohio, where he made us think he was doubling back west. By the time I found out it was a false trail and realized he would be coming back to Boston… He had already gotten to you."

 

Jane opened her mouth to rage at the agent, but Maura had beaten her to it.

 

"So it's your fault." The Doctors voice was low and calm, but layered in cruel ice.

 

"There was no way-"

 

"IT WAS YOUR FAULT!" Maura had become red in the face as she yelled. "You are the ones who let him live! You are the ones who let him escape AGAIN! You are the reason this is happening to Jane! You could have warned her! You could have-"

 

" _THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY!"_  Dean roared. He took exactly two steps forward with eyes flashing before he found himself pinned against a wall, this time, with a solid hand around his neck. A low distorted snarl with hot breath and strings of spit hit the side of his face as he tried to struggle and turn away. He would admit he was afraid, but he looked Jane in the face, only two inches away and saw bright yellow eyes burning with fury. The skin around her hairline was getting darker. The force that was pushing him against the wall and around his throat grew.

 

"You will never speak to Doctor Isles that way again, do you understand?" Jane’s teeth had become large and sharp, and all were being bared at him. This made her unable to move her lips enough to enunciate, but the message was clear enough.

 

He was just barely able to nod yes and managed to choke out. "Watch the teeth."

 

Jane gave him one final glare before releasing him to crumple to the ground, gasping for air. The detective stayed where she was standing and just watched Gabriel catch his breath. He knew better than to try and stand while Jane was still this close.

 

The brunette calmed, and although her eyes still shone yellow, her normal skin tone returned and her teeth had receded. She took several steps backwards, so she was standing just slightly in front of Maura before she addressed the agent again.

 

"You have placed me and my family in an unquantifiable amount of danger. As far as I'm concerned, you are to blame for what has happened to me. Say your piece, and get the hell out of my sight." Dean stood slowly, and straightened his suit.

 

"I know I have a lot to make up for Jane, and that's what I'm trying to do by coming here. Higher ups have given the order to exterminate Charles Hoyt. I lead my pack, but I'm only a Beta. You're an Alpha Jane. And so is he."


	11. Restless Heart

Save for the hum of the lab equipment, Dean's statement was met with silence. Maura entertained the idea that Dean was too afraid of Jane to move from that spot without her say so. He certainly looked it. Maura could see Jane's tension ripple through her muscles from her jaw down her neck to her clenching fists.  _You're an Alpha Jane. And so is he._  Those eight words finally clicked together, and the meaning the Agent has put behind it sunk in. Ice rushed through her veins.

 

"So let me get this straight." The detective snarled. "The last three times Hoyt has come after me, everyone was practically shitting themselves to keep me from him. To keep me locked away some place safe while I waited for him to come and try to kill me." The heels from her boots clicked against the tile as she once more began to slowly pace with her arms crossed, back and forth in front of Dean. Maura was reminded of an angry animal pacing in their cage.

 

"But now. Now by some kind of  _fucking cosmic joke_ , the bastard is still alive and I'm somehow the only one you know who is able to kill him?" There was something dangerous in her voice that sent a shiver down the Doctor's spine. Jane stopped her pacing and stood in front of the Agent, waiting for an answer. He said nothing, his face still as stone. A drop of sweat trailing from his brow betraying how nervous he really was. "Hoyt has once again, fucked up my life beyond anything imaginable, all because you and your  _buddies_  wanted to run their little tests- HE WAS DEAD!" She roared directly in his face. Not even Dean could avoid flinching back with a grimace. The room rang as the last echo of Jane's voice faded away.

 

Jane's expression melted to cool indifference in wake of the silence. "He was dead, and you brought this nightmare back into my life." She took a deep breath and turned away from the Agent, walking past Maura to the table. She brought her hand up to pinch the bridge of her nose.

 

Maura stepped to the brunette's side and rubbed a hand across her shoulders. Jane looked to the side and gave a halfhearted smile. Maura wasn't fooled. There was pain and fear behind the anger in those brown eyes. Hoyt was a nightmare that seemed to never end. Maura was barely able to contain her own fear and anger. The detective's life was nearly ended now six times because of that monster. Instead of trying to keep Jane safe, Gabriel wanted to toss Jane into the thick of things. He wanted her to confront Hoyt, fight him, and risk her own life to snuff out his, to fix his mistakes. Maura wanted nothing more than to tell Dean to figure out the problem on his own and to get the hell out of their lives, but she knew realistically that wasn't an option.

 

Hoyt is a wolf and has proven that he could very easily find Jane. He could find anyone, at any time. This wasn't something a uniform detail outside of Jane's apartment would protect her from. They needed Dean's help, and this problem wasn't going away without Jane getting involved.

 

"I can't…" Dean's voice broke the silence, but it was the tone of his voice breaking that caught their attention as they looked back towards him. "I can't imagine what this is like for you Jane. I know I can never be sorry enough for bringing this mess into your life." His voice was thick with emotion. Regret making his usual strong deep voice quiver. "You don't have to give me an answer now." He took a deep breath to regain his composure, and the stone faced emotionless federal agent returned.

 

"Take a few days to think over what you want to do, Jane. My pack is in Boston and we'll keep up regular patrols everywhere you go. It's not much but it's enough to give even Hoyt pause." He pulled a card out from his suit pocket and slid it onto the counter near the door. "Give me a call if you have any questions. Regardless of whether or not you help us, I can still help you." He turned put his hand on the door to leave, but hesitated, waiting. Realizing that Jane wasn't going to say anything, he pushed the door open and left.

 

As the doors closed behind him, Jane slumped down onto a stool and dropped her head into her hands. Maura moved to stand in front of the brunette the moment she saw her shoulders start to shake. The Doctor covered Jane's knees with her palms. They remain this way for several minutes, Jane silently crying with her face hidden and Maura standing close rubbing soothing circles with her thumbs.

 

"It's real." Jane murmured from behind her hands. "This is all real, it's actually happening." She lifted her head to look at Maura with red rimmed eyes. The blonde shifts her hands from the detective's knees to run up long forearms before lacing their fingers together. Bringing their joined hands down to rest on Jane's knees, Maura looked at their hands and took a deep breath trying to think of something to say that could possibly help.

 

"It… Seems that this is in fact real. It's a lot to deal with at once, and… certain things will take some time to get used to, but that doesn't mean they have to be tackled all at once. At least now we have some answers and we know there is a way to control this change in your biological make up." Maura looked up and gave a reassuring smile. "If someone like Dean can operate out in the open, then there's no reason this should change your life too much."

 

When Jane rolled her eyes Maura was quick with her rebuttal. "So you turn into a giant wolf from time to time and you might have to take a few lessons in anger management. Anything we can't figure out on our own, Agent Dean will be able to fill us in on." She had made sure to emphasize the "we" and knew Jane caught it when she smiled that half smile that made Maura's heart melt.

 

Jane took a deep breath and looked into Maura's eyes with enough intensity to make the doctors breath catch in her throat. "Thanks Maur. It's just… This is a lot. But you're right. I need to focus on things one at a time. I just wish there was someone more trustworthy than Dean on Hoyt. He’s not going to come after just me and it's never something straightforward or predictable." Her hands slip out of Maura's and begin to rub together, thumbs pressing against raised scars. A curtain of dark hair falls from her shoulder as she looks down at her damaged hands. "Gabriel doesn't exactly have the best track record when it comes to keeping Hoyt away."

 

Maura reaches forward and gently lifts the detectives chin so their eyes will meet. The glazed look in those brown eyes told Maura that Jane was remembering their encounter with Hoyt in the prison. When she was almost raped and killed while Jane was being forced to watch. She swallowed before she moved her hand to brush unruly curls back over Jane's slumped shoulders. Pale hands slid over a tanned jaw with fingertips just brushing along the Italian woman's hair.

 

"We'll be careful. I'm sure Agent Dean's people will be putting enough pressure on Hoyt to keep him away until a plan is in place to stop him. At this point, who knows more about how he works than you and me?" Jane said nothing, but Maura could see the worry start to fade, only to be replaced by something else. As the silence built, something inside of Maura screamed for her to act. Now was the time.

 

_Kiss her._

 

_Just kiss her._

 

**_Do it._ **

 

Something else was holding her back. This deep sinking feeling in her stomach that the doctor recognized as fear. What could she possibly be afraid of? There was fear of rejection but a little voice in her head whispered possibilities that were much worse.  _What if she dies? What if you're together and Hoyt gets her first? What if she leaves? What if after all of this is over, she decides to run off and be a wolf and find a pack of her own? You would have given everything you had and then you will be left with nothing. You will be an empty shell._

 

She is frozen and can't bring herself to move closer or to pull away. Three loud beeps jerks the two out of their reverie and Maura steps back and points over her shoulder to the source of the beeping. "That would be the uh, the blood test. From earlier."

 

"Oh, I wonder what secrets it could possibly reveal. I hope it's not something like being a werewolf." Jane's sarcasm quickly cleared all awkwardness from the last few moments.

 

"There's no harm in checking. Besides, I'm curious." Opening the delivered document on her laptop, Maura looked over the results and had to admit that it was fascinating. "This is extraordinary. It looks to be unbelievably complex, but Agent Dean is correct. It is a virus."

 

"So what, could a cure be made? Is it something that could be reversible?" Jane shifted in her seat. Maura could tell she was trying not to get ahead of herself and get her hopes up, but the Doctor was loath to squash that small spark that still managed to show on the Detective's face.

 

"Unfortunately there's no such thing as a cure for viruses. Only vaccines that strengthen your immune system so that you are no longer affected by that particular stand of the virus. I wouldn't be able to find out without extensive testing, and I'm not a viral analyst. If I were to hypothesize based off of what Agent Dean has told us, I would guess that they have yet to figure out how to remove the affliction. If they were using Hoyt as a test subject just to repress the change, they might be on to something."

 

After reading the test results over again, a thought came to Maura. "How do you want this to end, Jane?"

 

"Huh?" She looked up from where she was sitting, a confused look on her face.

 

"Once all this is over. When Hoyt is gone, all questions are answered and everything is behind us?" She paused, "What do you want to happen?"

 

Jane stares at the Doctor, takes a deep breath and holds it for a few seconds before letting it out. Without looking away, Jane says answers in a low confidant voice.

 

"I want to see Hoyt's dead lifeless corpse burned in front of me. I want to not have to deal with anymore of this wolf bullshit. I want to be able to have a normal weekend for once. I want-" She breaks off, her confidence wavering. The brunettes gaze searches the Doctor's face for several seconds before she looks down at her hands in her lap. "I want things to go back to how they used to be."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter after this and we're all caught up. FF.net is being weird and won't let me upload documents, but as soon as it lets me again, the edits I made to chapter 9-11 will go up and I'll post new chapters to both here and to FF.net


	12. All the Small Things

Jane sits on her couch, holding up Dean's card and absentmindedly flicking the corner of it with her thumb. After leaving the lab they had agreed on returning to Jane's apartment. The contractors would be repairing the broken wall in Maura's living room well into the evening, but they should be done before it gets too dark. Besides, the apartment was still a mess from Jane's rampage the night before, and she could use the extra pair of hands for cleaning up. After sweeping up broken glass and righting overturned furniture for a full two hours of silence, Maura had suggested a break. Of course this only meant Maura would step into the kitchen to cook up a quick lunch for them while Jane continued to mull over her options.

 

 _“Our options.”_ Jane mentally corrected. Tossing Dean's card to the freshly dented coffee table, the detective decided she would shift her thoughts away from the wolf-side of their problems. In the past, Hoyt had been able to get the drop on them every time he had the chance. Either by hiding in a body bag, having his apprentice masquerade as her brother's date, or pretending to be on his deathbed. “ _And turn into a giant wolf apparently.”_

 

She shook her head and focused on what ways Hoyt could try to get to her this time. She couldn't remember what happened to her keys after going to Maura's the night before, so she would need to change her locks. Again. For the third time this year. Only this time, she would not leave a spare laying around. She would have to be better about keeping track of her keys at all times. She would have spares made after all of this was behind them, until then, she would just have to tell her mother the deadbolt broke and the key-cutter at the hardware store was broken.

 

What was she going to do about her mother, and Frankie, and everyone else she cared about? He had already used her brother to get to her once before, what if he tried again? Or went after her mother? Gabriel would have his pack watching over them as well. Surely he was intelligent enough to realize that they were all potential targets. God, what was she going to tell them? **How** was she going to tell them?

 

" _Hey, so Hoyt is still alive and turns out he was the wolf that attacked me. So now he's on the loose again and I'm the only one who can kill him because, guess what? I'm a wolf now too and I change into a giant black dog any time it's the full moon or if I get too angry! I don't know how to control it yet, so you guys need to change your locks and be on the lookout for giant wolves because it turns out he attracts other creepy wolves and there’s a chance there might be a few working with him!"_ Yeah, that would go over just swell. For all they knew, Hoyt was still dead.

 

 _“Ma might believe the ‘we thought he was dead, but turns out he lived,’ line, but there’s no way Frankie would buy it. He would demand answers and figure out that I knew what’s really going on. He would take it personally and probably shun me for the rest of our lives for keeping it from him. He might even agree with keeping Ma in the dark about all this. Does Hoyt know about Tommy, Lydia and TJ? I don’t know how easy it would be for him to find out. It doesn’t fit his MO at all to go after family members, but even that stunt with using Emily to date Frankie and pretend to be a couple was still a twisted version of his MO to lure me in. Damn it all, I don’t know what to do. God, and what about Maura?”_ She was going to be just as much of a target as Jane was, all because that bastard could always read the detective like a book.

 

Jane heaved herself off her sunken couch with a loud groan, and stomped her way over to the kitchen. Sitting on the tall stool and leaning over the counter she could see the grilled cheese sandwiches with tomatoes being moved to plates that already had what appeared to be a healthy green salad prepared and dished up. The idea of eating the salad put a bitter taste in her mouth, but she hid it well.

 

"So I was thinking," She paused to look up at Maura. The Doctor didn't look up from the plates as she cut the sandwiches in half, but gave a hum to let her know that she was listening. "Dean's guys, his… pack, will probably be stalking around Boston day and night, but it's really no different then what he's done before when Hoyt or an apprentice of his got loose." Maura set the plate of food in front of Jane, and her own identical plate next to her before circling around the counter. Jane picked up a half of her sandwich and continued, gesturing with it as if to help make her point as she turned in her seat to follow the blonde. "He's managed to get the drop on us regardless of how many protection details we had been set up with. I think aside from the usual ritual of changing our locks, we should go over a few more things we do in our day-to-day that he might try to take advantage of." She paused to take a large bite of the sandwich as Maura sat in her seat, spearing the salad with her fork.

 

"Well, there's the obvious going to and from work. He could easily hide near either of our homes or vehicles and make his move then. It’s simple and easy." Maura casually took a bite of her salad as if she were simply talking about why dogs chase cats.

 

"It's not really his style though. He's always been more… creepy about it. I guess he would insist it was 'poetic'. But I guess when it's your only option with a pack of wolves on your tail…" Jane took another large bite of her sandwich before continuing.

 

"But for the sake of covering bases, you're going to be entering and exiting your house through your garage, and making sure the door closes and locks without anyone slipping in before getting out of your car." Another bite. Half the sandwich was gone and Jane realized how starving she really was. She might actually eat the salad. Maura just nodded and Jane thought she saw an eye roll. "Hey, I know it seems obvious, I just want to make sure you’re safe, alright?" She managed to say with her mouth full of her second half of the sandwich. Maura let out a sigh of annoyance. Whether it was at Jane's lack of manners or the repetitive safety measures she has heard from Jane multiple times over the last few years, she couldn't tell.

 

"So I change my locks, you and I will be the only other ones to have a key and keep track of said keys at all times. I change my security system passwords, enter and exit through my garage, and check all of my doors, rooms, and windows every night-"

 

"And morning." Jane interrupted before shoving the last of the sandwich in her mouth.

 

"Yes Jane, and morning. Are there anymore conditions?"

 

"They're not conditions! Just more like… safety-measures. You still carry that stun gun I gave you right?”

 

"I make sure it's fully charged each night." Maura finished her salad, and turned to face Jane entirely, with her hands in her lap. "I have 'safety measures' of my own for you however, and I don't want any arguments about them." A single brown eyebrow raised in response. Maura took a deep breath as if preparing for battle. "You're staying with me until this is all over with." Jane opened her mouth, but the blonde jabbed a finger in Jane's shoulder before she could say anything. "No, Jane, I mean it. You park your car on the street every day, and you usually don't get home until well after dark. Hoyt has already broken into your home once before, and he would take every opportunity to try to get you alone. I have a top of the line security system that notifies 9-1-1 the moment it's tripped. My garage is big enough for two cars, and we can still carpool." Jane's mouth formed a hard line as she considered what the Doctor had said.

 

"I guess that makes sense. Fine, but the only time you are out of my sight is when we are home or at work, okay?" Jane looked down at her salad. She pushed the leaves around with her fork before deciding she didn't care for the queasy feeling she got when she considered eating it.

 

"Agreed. I was going to say the same thing to you actually."

 

"Oh really? And tell me Doctor, what would you do if the big bad wolf stepped out of the dark?" Jane tried to shift the tone of the conversation to something a little more light. This was hardly their first rodeo, but neither of them could fully hide the nervous shaking in their hands. What better way to defuse a conversation than her own personal brand of dark humor?

 

"Well, as I recall, the last two times the big bad wolf came out to play, someone had a bit of a hard time and someone else just happened to have a rock or a stick handy to chase them away." She took a bite of her sandwich and winked at the detective's gob-smacked expression. Jane laughed as she speared a forkful of salad. She didn't mind the taste too bad, she supposed.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

The car was silent save for the sounds of Boston whipping past through the open windows. Jane had been bouncing her knee since she got in the car, and almost made a point to keep her hand covering her nose and mouth.

 

"Are you feeling alright?"

 

"Hm?" Jane lifted her head from her hand and made a face as if she immediately regretted it. "Ugh, it's just… Can you really not smell that?" She gestured widely out the window.

 

"If you mean the smell of vehicle emissions, silt and garbage, then no more than usual, no. Would you prefer if I rolled up the windows?"

 

"No, not yet, I'm still trying to figure out what that smell even is, but it's so strong it puts a bad taste in my mouth. I figured since you weren't reacting to it, then it means I probably have some sort of enhanced sense of smell." The detective resumed her previous position with her head facing the window, before muttering "God, how cliché is that?"

 

"Well, it's possible that the clichés could help us out. At least make sure that nothing takes you by surprise." No sooner did Maura finish her sentence before Jane twisted in her seat and practically shoved her upper body out the window. "JANE!" The brunette pulled her body back into the car and continued to twist around in her seat to look behind them. "Jane, what is wrong with you!?"

 

"Oh! Oh, sorry!" She shifted back to normal in her seat. "Uh, I just. Um…" She moved to roll up her window and crossed her arms, refusing to even look over at Maura. "I figured out what that smell was is all." Jane made it clear she wasn’t going to elaborate. Glancing in her rearview mirror, Maura saw a small dog with his leg lifted and relieving himself on a tree. Maura tried not to laugh, she really did, but she couldn't hold in very long. Unbeknownst to the doctor, a small smile graced the lips of the detective as they pulled into Maura's driveway.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, all chapters have been edited and tweaked to my satisfaction, as well as on FF.net. This is an end to the regular updates, though I am starting to piece together ideas for the next chapter. It might be sooner rather than later that you guys see an update. Probably within a month, I am hoping. I will still be updating to FF.net for those of you who prefer their format to AO3.


	13. Dirty Little Secret

Chapter 13:

 

The contractors were packing up the rest of their tools as they came through the door. After checking the back door and the porch lights to make sure everything was working to her satisfaction, Maura pulled her checkbook from her purse and began filling it out. Jane wondered over to the dinner table and flicked Gabriel’s card onto the surface.

“So what caused this kind of damage anyway? Looked like a rabid bear was let loose!” The contractor with the bright orange shirt chuckled and his beer gut jiggled between his suspenders. Before Maura had a chance to stutter out a lie and pass out, Jane turned around with her hands in her pockets.

“Brother of mine convinced her that he could knock out the wall and put in a full pane sliding glass door. Managed to take out the door and trash the yard before he realized he had no idea what he was doing.” She shrugged with an over exaggerated eye roll.

“You serious? He use a wrecking ball or something?”

“The whole thing is rather embarrassing, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone about this.”

 He took the check Maura offered him and his eyes nearly burst from his skull. “Holy-! Well ma’am, if he ever tries his hand at construction over here again, you can give us a call.” He and the rest of the crew filed out the front door, miscellaneous tool boxes hefted over shoulders and under arms. Maura gave her thanks and closed the door behind them before turning around to saunter back into the living room

“So, which brother ruined my door?” There was a sly smirk that came with the question that suddenly made Jane feel very… warm. She yawned to try and hide the blush spreading across her cheeks.

“Clearly it was Frankie.”

“Hmm I would have guessed Tommy.”

“Yeah well, you know better than to believe Tommy, but Frankie? Who could say no to those excitable puppy brown eyes?”

“You mean the same eyes you both genetically inherited?”

Suddenly choking on air, Jane tried to pass it off as a laugh but it came out strained and awkward.

“I’m just gonna go, um, put my stuff in the spare room, um. Yeah. Be right back.”

_Smooth Rizzoli. Smooth._

Hanging her shirts and suit jackets in the closet of the spare room, and re-stocking the dresser with clean clothes, Jane was doing everything she could to ignore Dean’s card presently sitting on Maura’s table. Maybe she got lucky and a random gust of wind blew the card out a window. Or in the garbage disposal that happened to be on.

_If only._

With her task now completed, and the contractors finished with their work, the house was empty save for her and Maura. Which is nothing new. They’ve been alone in Maura’s house hundreds of times. Her best friend Maura. Who Jane has been successfully hiding her affections from for years. She would ask why it was now that it was suddenly so difficult to continue on like this, but she was afraid of the answer. It’s not like Maura was suddenly acting different. She’s there helping Jane like she always has been. Grounding her when her thoughts start to spiral out of control. Her heart swelled with the sudden surge of affection towards the doctor.

_The smart, beautiful, quirky doctor- stopit._

It honestly could be any multitude of things. Her recent change in biology, the repeated threats on her life, on Maura’s life?

She had to fight the sudden temptation to just sneak out the window and track Hoyt down herself. Kill him for good before he can do any further harm. But that would just be playing right into his hands, wouldn’t it? He would expect that of her. To get emotional and just run after him, leaving Maura and her family vulnerable. Not this time. This time she was going to play it smart. He was the one who’s going to be backed into a corner. She wasn’t going to let him out maneuver her. She was going to stay close to Maura no matter what, and together, they were going to figure this out. Regardless of any complicated feelings she might have.

Jane still had no idea how, or even if she was going to tell the rest of her family about this danger re-introduced into their lives. The longer she waited, the worse it was going to be if, or when, this little secret was revealed. Feeling herself getting worked up, Jane made her way into the kitchen for a beer. Coming around the corner, it was no surprise that Maura was there with an open bottle on the counter, and a glass of white wine already in hand.

“Sometimes I don’t believe you when you say you’re not psychic.”

“I just know you that well.” 

Smiling as she put her lips to the mouth of the bottle, Jane walked over to the dinner table to glare at the off-white business card. She could feel the doctor stare at her back, but she did not turn around.

“The longer I wait to make a decision, the closer he gets to everyone I care about.” Looking down at the brown bottle in her hand, she gave the drink a swirl before taking another mouthful.

The doctor stayed silent, allowing Jane to voice her thoughts.

“There’s still a lot I don’t know. Everything that happened when I was changed, it’s not really clear, it’s like the morning after drinking too much. I don’t remember changing, but it was like everything around me was suddenly different. My brain was processing information in a completely different way. I could … _see_ smells. When you talked, it sounded different. More clear, but I could hear these different tones that made up your voice, and each one was a different emotion only they were combining together, all at once. Words themselves were hard to understand, but I knew the gist of what you were saying _because_ of all the different tones. Moments when I tried to act human, to communicate… I tried but it was like I was fighting against this instinct that was pushing me not to. I had no idea what was going on, I still don’t know how to really describe it. I couldn’t even tell you what I was thinking at the time, because I wasn’t really even thinking _words_.” Setting down the half empty bottle, Jane heaved a sigh and covered her eyes with a hand. “And then there’s Ma and Frankie. I still don’t know if I should tell them, or if they’d even believe me.” At this, Maura had stepped around the detective to pull Jane’s hand away from her eyes with a firm and gentle hand, holding it while the other hand shifted the bottle onto a coaster. 

“It’s pretty clear that we don’t know a few things,” Jane scoffed at the understatement before being hushed by a look. “But what do we know about your mother when you tell her anything about your life?”

“She asks a million questions and hovers when she knows I’m keeping something from her… Then she tracks you down and tricks you into telling her.” Maura swats at her arm with a small laugh.

“So what do we do?”

“… I probably need to get some answers before I consider spilling it to her.” Maura nods.

“Sounds reasonable. What about Frankie?” Jane’s brow narrows in thought. She squeezes the blonde’s hand before letting go, opting to slowly pace the room.

_Arm’s length, arm’s length, arm’s length._

“He takes it pretty personal when I keep something from him. He’s the type who needs to see proof before he will believe it. I can’t exactly just change into a wolf on command. I don’t even know if it’s possible to control it. He might try to have me committed, even if you vouch for me. Hell, he might insist we both get committed if you do.” Jane gestured to the new pristine wall and glass door that replaced the previous wreckage. “And any proof that there were two giant wolves that destroyed your wall and yard have already been fixed. How can we convince him when there’s nothing to show him?”

“I still have that slide of your blood sample, and that copy of your blood work. Would that be enough?”

“I doubt it. He’d probably just think it was an elaborate prank. Honestly, I think the only way to convince him would be for him to see me change himself. Tommy though, he might believe us without hard proof, but… I don’t know if I want him involved at all. He has Lydia and TJ, and if he knows, he’s going to end up telling Lydia regardless and who knows what goes on inside her head.” The room falls silent as Jane’s brain worked to piece things together. She had an entire list of things she needed to do, she was just uncertain in which order to do them in. Dean’s card was mocking her from the table. As if this whole mess wasn’t bad enough, that mess had to be dragged up. She wanted nothing more to do with Gabriel, and yet there he was, with all the answers to the questions she had. Thoughts of Hoyt and Dean and her family started to scramble what she was just starting to put in order. As if able to see her progress start to come undone, Maura spoke up.

“Tommy staying in the dark sounds appropriate given his situation. Angela will have questions to which we do not have answers for yet. Frankie will have to see you change, which you don’t know if you can do on demand. Which also means that it’s unknown if you can do it safely.” They both stare at the card on the table. A full minute of silence passes before Jane slides it towards her and pulls out her cell phone with a heavy sigh.

_~ I have more questions.  –J_

It was four seconds after sending the text before the three little dots flickered across the screen, indicating that Dean was already typing out his response.

_Has he been staring at his phone this whole time waiting for me to contact him? Creep._

 

_~ I can be over in an hour. –G_

_~ I’m staying at Maura’s. –J_

_~ I’ll be at Doctor Isles’ home in an hour then. –G_

“Why did it have to be Gabriel? I could almost handle all of this if it just could’ve been anyone _other_ than Gabriel.”

“So you would be able to deal with changing into a wolf and having a psychopath hunting you down, if your werewolf liaison was say, Detective Crowe?” Jane gagged loudly which was followed by that musical laughter from her friend.

_Friend. Arm’s length._

“This is going to be the most tense and awkward conversation…”

“At least this time it will be on your terms. You have questions, he will have answers. There shouldn’t be any more accusations flying around.” Jane hummed in agreement. “Plus we still have the home ground advantage. If he says one thing that upsets you, just say the word and I’ll throw him out.” Maura flourished her hand theatrically, and Jane couldn’t help but look over her shoulder with nothing but love on her face.

 

“Its home field, Maura.” She smiled because she already knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~*One more chapter after this and things REALLY start to get going. Fingers crossed that I can get us there!*~


End file.
